We’re all rightly worried about “Fake News” – these fake stories that are created to influence our political views or just to sell ads online. But have you ever thought that our own thoughts can be “fake news” too, affecting us in powerful ways? A lot of what we think isn’t true, and that’s especially the case with thoughts that make us anxious, panicky, or depressed.
Our minds are always spinning stories. They take bits of information and turn them into narratives. Sometimes, these stories are helpful and true. For instance, our ancestors realized that eating a certain berry led to stomach aches. Creating a story from that experience could literally be life-saving.
However, we often create stories that are neither true nor useful. When we’re in pain, feeling sick, depressed, or anxious, we tend to believe these feelings will last forever or get worse. We might think nobody cares about us. These thoughts are just stories, and they add an extra layer of suffering on top of the pain we’re already feeling – that’s why they say, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”
The worst part is, we’re like gullible news consumers; we believe every thought that runs through our minds without questioning its truth. Through mindfulness, though, we can learn to be more skeptical. We can start to notice if a thought is real and whether it’s helping us. A good approach is to observe the impact your thoughts are having on your emotions.
Do your thoughts make you feel joyful, connected, and engaged? Or do they make you feel small and powerless, pushing you into anxiety, depression, or anger? It’s really helpful to pay attention to how your thinking affects how you feel, especially around your heart and solar plexus, where emotions are usually felt.
When we talk about noticing feelings, it’s about being aware of sensations in your body. Often, when asked how they feel, people might say something like, “I feel like a loser.” But that’s a thought, not a feeling. The actual feeling might be “sadness” or “despondency.” It’s crucial to name what you feel and let go of the thoughts.
If you realize that a particular thought makes you unhappy, it can prompt you to not only drop the story but also check if the thought is true. Ask yourself, “Is this thought true?”
Our minds often cling to old patterns and will respond, “Yes, it’s true!” So ask again, but dig a little deeper: “Is this absolutely true?” This second question helps you find exceptions and counter-examples to the story you’ve been telling yourself, which can help you break free from old thought patterns.
Another useful question to ask yourself is, “What would things be like if I didn’t have this thought?” This can help you envision how your life might be without that negative mindset.
A typical situation might look like this:
You think, “Nobody likes me. I’m always going to be lonely.”
Notice that this thought creates unpleasant feelings.
Ask: Is this true? “Yes!” might be your immediate response.
Ask: Is this absolutely true? “Well, I do have friends, and I get along with some people at work.”
Now, you’re less attached to that thought causing you suffering.
Ask: What would it be like not to have this thought? “I guess I’d feel less fearful about whether people like me or not. I might feel more confident and stronger.”
With these steps, you start stepping out of the negative mindset and open up to change. It’s crucial to understand that not all our thoughts are true or helpful. We need to be more skeptical about our thinking to see how often our minds exaggerate or lie to us, creating stories that cause us to stress out.