Someone recently reached out to me, seeking advice on dealing with overwhelming self-doubt. This person had been meditating regularly for about a month but suddenly felt consumed by deep self-resentment. They recalled past mistakes, feeling unworthy of love and compassion, and even questioned their worthiness to meditate. The intensity of these emotions made them feel like the most selfish person in the world, creating a very painful experience.
What this person experienced is known as the “hindrance of doubt.” There are five mental obstacles that can disrupt our peace: (1) craving, (2) ill will, (3) anxiety, (4) lethargy, and (5) doubt. Doubt is particularly tricky because it undermines our confidence with negative stories about ourselves, making us feel vulnerable and exposed. We often believe these stories without questioning their truth.
It’s crucial to recognize these patterns of doubt and understand that they’re just stories, not reality. When you remind yourself of this, you’re less likely to believe these negative thoughts. For instance, thinking “I am unworthy of love” becomes less of an issue if you recognize it as a baseless story from a fearful part of yourself trying to resist positive change.
Doubt can serve as a misguided form of protection. It might stem from a fear of facing challenges or a fear of positive transformation. Old habits, feeling threatened by the possibility of change, often try to block our progress. In this case, after a month of meditation, parts of this individual were likely scared of the personal growth they were experiencing.
Don’t fear doubt. See it for what it is—a mere story—and don’t take it too seriously. When you do this, you often find a surge of energy and confidence in yourself and your practice. Beyond doubt, there is faith and renewed strength.