Recently, someone shared with me that they often feel a persistent anxiety around their solar plexus. I can relate. It’s not constant, but it’s there frequently. This anxiety doesn’t ruin my life or stop me from being happy, but it exists. It’s not something that can be “fixed” or simply made to disappear. In fact, attempting to get rid of it isn’t helpful. Instead, I’ve found that the best way to handle it is to accept and even love this anxiety.
First, it’s essential to recognize this anxiety. It might feel uncomfortable, but awareness is crucial. You can’t effectively respond to something if you’re not aware of it.
Many of us experience this type of anxiety without even realizing it. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, it influences our actions. It might drive us to turn on the TV to avoid the discomfort of being alone, pour a glass of wine to alleviate work stress, or snap at a partner out of fear of not being loved.
The good news is that you can find peace even with ongoing anxiety. Chronic, low-grade anxiety doesn’t have to undermine your wellbeing. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to see anxiety as a simple sensation, not a threat.
This approach requires practice but is achievable. Start with minor anxiety, let go of the accompanying thoughts, and just notice the sensation. What does it feel like? Where do you feel it in your body? How does it change from moment to moment? By doing this, the anxiety becomes less intimidating; it’s just like any other sensation.
Once you can do this, you can also learn to love your anxiety. Loving anxiety isn’t instinctive; it’s something we need to practice. Anxiety is designed to make us cautious about potential threats, which also makes it seem like a threat to our wellbeing. Naturally, we want to avoid it.
Instead of seeing anxiety as an enemy, view it as a signal from a part of you that is in pain. This part of you, like a scared child or animal, is reaching out for reassurance. Can you offer it kindness and love, just as you would to a pet or child?
Approach your anxiety with compassion: “Hey, how are you feeling today? I’m sorry you’re suffering. I just want you to know that I love you and care about you.” You can gently place a hand on the area where you feel it most and look at it with love, providing comfort to the fearful part of yourself.
Perhaps this anxiety will eventually fade. I hope the fearful part of me will one day feel secure and unafraid. In the meantime, I’ll continue to offer it love.
But what if saying things like “I’m sorry you’re suffering. I just want you to know that I love you and care about you,” feels insincere? Consider whether you want to live in endless suffering or find peace. Which option sounds better?
How do you let go of anxious thoughts? It can be challenging, but recognize that you’re thinking, and remember you have the power to shift your focus back to your body. It’s like noticing you’re walking too fast and deciding to slow down. You’re not eliminating the thoughts but just pausing them for a moment. Direct some of your mental focus away from the thoughts and towards the physical sensations in your body.
Taking your thoughts less seriously can help. Understand that there’s an inner storyteller creating these thoughts and dramas, but they aren’t truths—just stories. You can choose whether to believe them or not.
You might find it helpful to question your thoughts: Is this thought true? Is it helpful? Does it express kindness? Doing this makes you less likely to automatically believe your thoughts. Initially, you can do this after a thought arises, then as it arises, and eventually, even before it appears.