Embrace and Transform Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

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Embrace and Transform Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

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Embrace and Transform Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

In a series of six posts, I’m sharing ideas from early Buddhist scriptures on how to break free from our addiction to social media. These teachings come from the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which provides five strategies to overcome strong urges.

The term “Vitakkasanthana Sutta” translates to “The Discourse on Quieting Thinking,” but here, I’m referring to it as “the Social Media Sutra.” “Thinking” in this context refers to not just our inner dialogue but also the emotional urges that push us to constantly check social media or browse the internet.

The first strategy involves focusing our attention on something positive. The second strategy is recognizing the drawbacks of our compulsive behaviors. The third one is learning how to lessen temptation.

Now let’s dive into the fourth strategy from the Vitakkasanthana Sutta and explore how it can help us manage social media addiction. This fourth strategy is known as “stopping the formation of thoughts.” Sounds great if you can do it, right? Imagine having an off-switch for your mind or at least a volume dial to turn down the noise.

So what does the Vitakkasanthana Sutta say about this tool? It advises that if the other methods fail to quiet your mind, and unskillful thoughts connected to desire, hate, and delusion keep coming up, you should concentrate on stopping the formation of these thoughts. As you do so, those negative thoughts diminish and cease. Your mind becomes calm, unified, and immersed in mindful awareness.

This might seem a bit abstract, but there’s often an illustrative example that helps clarify the Buddha’s point. Imagine you’re walking quickly and then think, “Why am I in such a hurry? Let me slow down.” So you slow down. Then you wonder, “Why not just stand still?” So you stand still. Then you think about sitting down and eventually lying down, progressively adopting more relaxed postures.

The key takeaway here is that when we find ourselves racing through activities, something within us is driving this speed. By becoming aware of what’s propelling our actions, we can let go of it and slow down.

Similarly, when our minds generate thoughts and urges that lead us to compulsively use social media or browse online, there’s a mechanism driving this behavior. By understanding the causes behind our actions, we can bring our minds to rest.

For instance, if we’re aimlessly surfing the web, we might notice a feeling of anxiety, perhaps a tight, prickly sensation in the gut. One part of our brain creates this sensation, warning us that boredom or missing out poses a threat. This unpleasant feeling then triggers impulses to keep browsing, supported by inner thoughts like, “Just one more article. Maybe two.”

Feelings are central in Buddhist practice. The Buddha emphasized that “everything converges on feeling” due to its pivotal role in our experience. It’s often the unpleasant feeling that drives our behavior.

By becoming mindful of the feeling driving us, we recognize that we don’t have to react to it. Instead, we can observe it, understand that it represents a part of us in distress, and respond with compassion.

This approach creates a gap, a sacred pause, allowing us to choose a kinder, wiser response. In terms of internet addiction, there’s always an uncomfortable feeling at its root. It could be boredom, emptiness, dread, or anxiety. Whatever it is, we can learn to face our discomfort with kindness and compassion, transforming our reactivity into mindful, creative responses.

Personally, when I catch myself stuck on the computer, obsessively reading articles, I use this method. I recognize my suffering and mindfully turn to the feelings present. Often there’s something unpleasant in the gut.

When I’m not mindful, I interpret these feelings as signals that something is wrong, prompting a need to fix or escape the threat of loneliness or boredom by diving into the online world. However, these responses are instinctual, not deliberate.

When I am mindful, I see the unpleasant feeling as a mere bodily sensation created by a brain region that mistakenly thinks my well-being is at stake. I don’t need to act on it. I can simply observe and compassionately acknowledge my suffering. I might touch my belly, where the feeling is strongest, and offer well-wishes: “May you be well. May you be happy. May you be at peace.”

In practicing mindful self-compassion, we break free from the trap of social media addiction, shifting from reacting to our pain to embracing it with kindness.

When we crave something, it’s like an invisible cord connects us to it, channeling our emotions. By mindfully addressing the painful feelings behind our cravings, we essentially cut this cord.

For me, becoming mindful of these emotions often weakens or breaks my attachment to the internet and social media. I can then set aside my phone or close my laptop and engage in more meaningful activities instead of mindlessly scrolling.

So that’s the fourth strategy. It involves focusing on halting the formation of unskillful urges, understanding the feelings behind our thoughts, and responding in a healthier way. This approach helps free us from the compulsion to be constantly plugged into social media.