In a series of six posts, I’m explaining how we can free ourselves from our addiction to social media using teachings from early Buddhist scriptures. These teachings, found in the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, outline five strategies for overcoming compelling urges. I like to call it “the Social Media Sutra.”
“Thinking” here means more than just our inner verbalization; it includes the emotional urges that drive us. So, the urge to compulsively use social media or surf the internet is a form of thinking in this context.
The first tool is shifting our attention to something positive. The second is recognizing the drawbacks of our unskillful activities. The third is learning how to reduce temptation. Now, let’s look at the fourth tool: stopping the formation of thoughts.
Stopping our thoughts sounds ideal, doesn’t it? We’d all love an off-switch or at least a dial to turn down our thinking. So, what exactly does the discourse say about this method? It suggests that if other strategies haven’t quieted our unskillful urges, we should focus on stopping the formation of thoughts. By doing so, we can end those bad thoughts, allowing the mind to become calm and unified.
This might not sound immediately helpful, but there’s an analogy to understand it better. Picture a person walking quickly who then thinks, “Why am I in such a hurry? I should slow down.” So, they slow down. Then they think, “Why not just stand still?” So, they do that. Next, they choose to sit, and finally, they decide to lie down. This person gradually rejects more active postures in favor of more still ones.
The key takeaway is that we can recognize what’s driving us and let go, allowing us to slow down and come to rest. When our mind is occupied with thoughts and urges pulling us into compulsive online activities, there’s a mechanism behind it. By becoming aware of the causes driving our actions, we can choose to let our mind rest.
For instance, if we’re mindlessly surfing the web, it might be due to anxiety—this feeling could manifest as an uncomfortable sensation in the gut. One part of our brain generates this sensation, thinking boredom or missing out is a threat. This unpleasant feeling acts as an alert.
Other parts of the brain react to this discomfort by creating impulses to browse more. These impulses may come with thoughts like, “Just one more article.” The urge to continue surfing and the accompanying inner dialogue make up the “thought” we aim to slow down.
Feelings play a crucial role in our experiences, as noted by the Buddha. In the example mentioned, the unpleasant feeling is the driving force behind our behavior.
By becoming mindful of this driving feeling, we realize we don’t need to react to it. Instead, we can observe it, recognize it’s a part of us that’s suffering, and address it with compassion. This mindful self-compassion creates a pause, enabling us to respond more wisely.
When dealing with internet addiction, there’s always an uncomfortable feeling at its core. This feeling varies—it could be boredom, hollowness, dread, or anxiety. We can train ourselves to accept and respond to our discomfort with kindness and compassion. This shift from reactivity to mindful response is crucial.
When I find myself glued to my computer, I follow this approach. I recognize my suffering and turn my attention to my feelings mindfully. Usually, I identify an unpleasant sensation in my gut.
If I’m not mindful, I interpret these feelings as signals that something’s wrong, needing a fix, like going online. These reactions are instinctual, not planned.
Being mindful, I see the unpleasant feeling as a mere body sensation, created by a part of my brain worried about my well-being. I know I don’t have to act on it. I observe it, perhaps offer it compassion, and say, “May you be well. May you be happy. May you be at peace,” while touching the affected area.
Social media addiction is driven by a desire to escape emotional pain. True freedom from this urge comes from facing our pain with mindfulness and compassion.
When craving something, it’s like there’s an invisible cord linking us to it, through which our emotions flow. By focusing mindfully on the underlying painful feelings, it’s as if we cut this cord.
For me, becoming mindful of my painful feelings weakens or breaks my emotional connection to the internet and social media. I can then put down my phone or close my laptop and engage in more wholesome activities.
This fourth tool focuses on stopping the formation of unskillful urges. By understanding the feelings behind our thoughts and urges and responding mindfully, we can free ourselves from the compulsion to engage with social media.