Embrace Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

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Embrace Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

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Embrace Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

In a series of six posts, I’ve been exploring how teachings from early Buddhist scriptures can help free us from social media addiction. These insights come from the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which outlines five strategies for overcoming strong urges. I refer to this as “the Social Media Sutra.”

In this context, “thinking” includes not just our inner dialogue, but also the emotional urges that drive behaviors like compulsively using social media or surfing the internet. The first tool is to shift our attention to something positive. The second is to consider the downsides of our unskillful activities, while the third involves learning how to lessen temptation.

Now, let’s look at the fourth tool from the Vitakkasanthana Sutta and how it can help us manage social media addiction.

This fourth tool is about “stopping the formation of thoughts.” While this concept might sound ideal, the discourse suggests that if other methods haven’t quieted our unskillful thoughts and urges, we should focus on halting the formation of those thoughts. Doing so can lead to the cessation of negative thoughts, bringing internal stillness, unity, and mindful absorption.

An illustration from the discourse helps clarify this: Imagine someone walking quickly. They might decide to slow down, then stand still, then sit, and finally lie down. This process of adopting progressively more subtle postures mirrors our experience with thoughts and urges. By becoming aware of what’s driving our high-speed mental activity, we can let go and slow down.

When we compulsively engage in online activities, there’s often an underlying mechanism driving this behavior. By examining the causes and conditions influencing our actions, we can allow our minds to rest. For instance, if we’re mindlessly web surfing, there might be an underlying anxiety. This anxiety could manifest as a tight, unpleasant sensation in the gut, produced by the brain as an alert to potential threats like boredom or missing out.

As we react to this unpleasant sensation, we create impulses to keep browsing. These impulses often come with verbal thoughts like “Just one more article.” Both the urge and the inner dialogue are the “thoughts” we aim to slow down.

Feelings play a crucial role in Buddhist practice. The Buddha taught that everything converges on feeling, which is pivotal in our experience. The unpleasant feeling driving our behavior is central. By becoming mindful of this feeling, we recognize we don’t have to react to it. Instead, we can observe it and show compassion to the part of us that’s suffering. This self-compassion creates a pause, allowing us to act more wisely.

When dealing with internet addiction, an unpleasant feeling is always at the core. This feeling could be boredom, hollowness, dread, or anxiety. However, we can train ourselves to face our discomfort with acceptance and kindness. This shifts us from reactivity to a more mindful, thoughtful response.

Often, when I find myself glued to my computer, obsessively reading articles, I use this approach. I notice the unpleasant feelings in my gut and mindfully turn my attention to them. Unmindfully, I might see these feelings as signals that something is wrong and feel the need to escape by going online. These reactions are instinctual.

By being mindful, I see these unpleasant sensations as just that—sensations created by the brain. I realize I don’t need to act on them. Instead, I can observe them, acknowledge that a part of me is suffering, and offer it kindness and compassion. Touching the area of discomfort, I might say to myself, “May you be well. May you be happy. May you be at peace.”

Social media or internet addiction often comes from a desire to escape emotional pain. We can’t free ourselves from these urges without learning to face our pain with mindfulness and compassion. Craving feels like an emotional cord connecting us to the object of our desire. Mindfully focusing on the underlying painful feelings can break this cord.

When I practice this mindfulness, my emotional link to the internet weakens, and I can easily set aside my phone or laptop to engage in something more wholesome. This is part of the fourth tool: focusing on stopping the formation of unskillful urges by understanding the feelings driving them and choosing a more positive response. This approach helps break the compulsion to constantly check social media.

So, what have we learned today?

To read Part 5 of The Social Media Sutra, click here: Staging a Coup Against Social Media Addiction.