We often encounter various types of distracting thoughts during meditation. Some are obvious and captivating, pulling us entirely away from our practice. These are the intense distractions where we completely forget that we’re meditating and instead get lost in our inner dramas. We dip in and out of these moments continuously, always returning to mindfulness when we realize we’ve strayed.
Then there are the lighter, background thoughts that linger even while we stay focused on our meditation. For example, we might be following our breathing while random thoughts pop up in the background. These might be commentaries on our experience or entirely unrelated musings. However, these thoughts usually aren’t so emotionally charged that they disrupt our practice.
I want to focus on this second type of thinking and how we can better manage it. Think of your inner dialogue as a toddler talking to itself while playing. Imagine listening to a child’s self-talk—it’s usually cute, funny, and endearing, not something that bothers us.
Our approach to our inner chatter often creates more issues than the thoughts themselves. When we resist these thoughts and wish they would go away, that resistance becomes a source of pain and distraction. The act of resisting thoughts throws us off balance and makes us even more distracted. Our mental resistance tangles with the distractions, tricking us into losing our mindfulness.
If we simply allow these background thoughts to exist, we can avoid this problem. This acceptance fosters kindness and patience within us. Taking a playful and tolerant attitude towards these random thoughts—similar to how you would listen to a child at play—allows you to continue your meditation without being bothered. The thoughts remain, but they don’t disturb you. You might even find them amusing and endearing. This is far more enjoyable and effective than resisting them.
When our minds are constricted, our thoughts seem bigger and harder to ignore. It’s like being trapped in a car with a child constantly demanding attention—it drives us up the wall! To quiet this inner child, we need to give it space to play. Once it has this space, it often just goes about its business quietly, allowing us to enjoy its background noise. Eventually, the mental chatter might even settle down, leaving us with a calm and spacious mind.
If you find yourself constantly battling with your thoughts during meditation, it may help to think of it as part of the process. Accepting these thoughts without resistance can be challenging, especially if you’re prone to obsessiveness. It might take time, and seeking more guidance on meditation techniques can be beneficial.
One technique to try is to close your eyes, relax, and ask yourself, “I wonder what my next thought will be?” Keep watching and try to observe the thought once it arises. This practice can help you become more aware of your thoughts without getting caught up in them.