Lately, my life has felt way too complicated and sometimes just plain overwhelming. Moving to a new house took weeks of planning and packing, and then more hard work unpacking and getting everything set up. My partner and I have moved in together, so we’re adjusting to our new living situation and how it’s changing our relationship. On top of that, my kids are now going to two different schools that are in towns apart, meaning I spend over two hours a day just driving them around. I also agreed to give four video talks for Tricycle magazine, which took a massive amount of preparation. Shortly after we moved, we decided to adopt an abandoned puppy, adding even more to our already hectic life with vet visits and replacing all the phone and laptop cables she’s chewed.
All of this has left my mind feeling really stirred up. There’s this constant low-level anxiety about whether I’m forgetting something important, like if it’s my turn to take the kids to school or how I’m supposed to fit in work tasks like writing articles, recording meditations, and helping with online tech support. It seems like there’s always some new complication popping up.
Amid all these challenges, my meditation practice has been a lifeline. It’s not some magical process where all my problems disappear or my reactions to them suddenly change. In fact, all the chaos in my mind and body follows me into my meditation sessions. But that’s kind of the point. Meditation gives me a chance to address these issues.
During meditation, thoughts about work, family schedules, or communication problems float up. I notice them, let them go, and bring my attention back to my body and my breathing. Sometimes, there’s a brief moment of not thinking, even if it’s just for a few breaths. I become more aware of the tension in my body and have the chance to soften and relax, even if just a little bit.
I also notice feelings of anxiety. They’re uncomfortable, but instead of reacting, I try to be present with them, allowing some mental space around them. This process of letting go of thoughts, accepting uncomfortable feelings, and allowing my body to relax helps a lot.
It’s really important to recognize how my experience changes when I let go of thoughts, accept my feelings, and soften my body. The shift might be small, but it moves me from feeling tense and stressed to feeling more at ease. This isn’t always a huge change, but it’s a real one, moving me toward a sense of well-being.
I focus on the “texture” of my experience. Stressful thinking, feeling tense, and being physically tight have their own uncomfortable textures. Calmness, acceptance of unpleasant feelings, and a softening body each have their own comfortable textures. Noticing these changes in texture helps keep me anchored in calmness and prevents me from being pulled back into stress and distraction.
Paying attention to these textures is important because our stress-generating thoughts can be really compelling and pull us back into a stressed state. By being interested in the pleasant and easeful textures of mindfulness, we create a counterbalance, helping us stay anchored in calmness. It’s essential to appreciate the peaceful nature of letting go, as this makes us less likely to fall back into stressful thoughts and feelings.
Even small changes, like a few seconds of calm after letting go of a stressful thought, can make you want to stay in that more pleasant state. With practice, you’ll start to notice that compulsive thinking is unpleasant while you’re still in it, which helps you let go of it. Naturally, we’ll want to stop doing something that’s making us miserable.
Sometimes, we might try to cling to these brief moments of calm, wanting to hold on to them. But grasping for pleasant experiences is another form of mental discomfort. With time, you’ll learn to recognize this and let go, accepting whatever’s happening instead.
Appreciation acts like an anchor. Remember to use it.
Thank you, Bodhipaksa, for these simple and understandable instructions on meditation. Your teachings have been incredibly helpful, whether you’re a beginner or an experienced meditator. I wish I had come across such insights earlier in my spiritual journey.
Thank you again, Bodhipaksa. Although I find it challenging to notice those fleeting moments of not-thinking until they’re gone, it helps to know that turbulent times will pass and things will eventually calm down.
Having just gone through a major house move myself, with all the stress and anxiety that comes with it, this reminder was very useful. Thanks, Bodhipaksa.
I hope your move went well, Kristen.
I don’t remember moving being this tough in the past. My last few moves involved downsizing; this one was about combining everything with my partner’s stuff in a bigger place, adding extra layers of complexity. It’s also physically harder as I get older. Hopefully, this will be my last move!
Great article. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who gets stressed and finds meditation beneficial.
It’s fascinating how accustomed to stress our bodies and minds can become, almost craving it. I even get migraines when I stop. Best wishes with your new life adventure! My marriage is a continual work in progress.
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