We’re understandably worried about “Fake News”—made-up stories designed to influence people’s political choices or simply generate online ad revenue. But often, our own thoughts can be like fake news, significantly impacting us by being untrue. This is especially the case for thoughts that lead to anxiety, panic, or depression.
Our minds are expert storytellers. They take bits of information and weave them into narratives. Sometimes these stories are accurate and useful—like when early humans learned that eating a specific berry caused stomach pain, connecting those experiences could be lifesaving.
However, many times, we create stories that are neither true nor helpful. For instance, when we feel pain, illness, depression, or anxiety, we often think that these feelings will last forever or worsen. We might believe that no one cares about us. These thoughts are just stories that add unnecessary suffering to our existing pain—hence the saying, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”
The real issue is that we often believe every thought that pops into our heads without questioning its validity. Practicing mindfulness can help us become more skeptical and discerning about our thoughts. A good guideline is to notice how your thoughts affect your feelings.
Do your thoughts bring joy, connection, and engagement? Or do they make you feel small, powerless, or emotionally overwhelmed with anxiety, depression, or anger?
To understand how your thoughts influence your feelings, pay attention to sensations around your heart and solar plexus, as these areas mostly express our emotions. Remember, noticing feelings means observing bodily sensations. When someone says, “I feel like a loser,” they’re stating a thought, not a feeling. The actual feeling might be “despondency” or “sadness.” Identify and name what you feel, then let go of the associated thoughts.
If you recognize that a thought makes you unhappy, use it as a cue to question its truthfulness. Ask yourself, “Is this thought true?” Your mind might cling to old patterns, insisting, “Yes, it’s true!”
Probe deeper by asking, “Is this absolutely true?” This usually reveals exceptions and counter-examples, helping you break free from old thought patterns.
Another helpful question to ask yourself is, “What would things be like if I didn’t have this thought?” This approach, popularized by spiritual teacher Byron Katie, can shift your perspective.
For example, you might think, “Nobody likes me. I’m always going to be lonely.” Notice how this thought makes you feel unhappy. Ask, “Is this true?” Your initial answer might be, “Yes!” Follow up with, “Is this absolutely true?” You might realize, “Well, I do have friends and get along with colleagues.”
Then ask, “What would it be like not to have this thought?” You might consider, “I’d feel less fearful and more confident.”
This process helps you start breaking away from the mental traps you’ve set for yourself, opening up to the possibility of change. It’s essential to recognize that not all of your thoughts are true or helpful. By becoming more skeptical of your thinking, you’ll start noticing how often your mind exaggerates or lies, creating stories that lead to unnecessary stress.