This summer, I read a book by Arthur C. Brooks, who was recently the president of a conservative think tank called the American Enterprise Institute. The book, “Love Your Enemies,” encourages us to rethink how we interact with each other politically. I’m not here to write a book review but rather to share the impact the book had on me.
First, a bit about Brooks. He’s a thoughtful person with a diverse background. He spent around 22 years as a professional classical musician before transitioning into economics and policy analysis. His early work focused on charitable giving. He’s friends with the Dalai Lama, and they even co-authored an article for the New York Times. Though he’s been a Catholic since he was 16, he’s greatly influenced by the Dalai Lama’s teachings on love. Politically, Brooks has registered as a Democrat, a Republican, and now identifies as an Independent. Importantly, while he is conservative, he doesn’t align with Trumpian conservatism.
I chose to read something by a conservative because it’s easy to dismiss opposing views these days. Although Brooks and I might not see eye-to-eye politically, I welcomed the challenge. The book tested my patience at times, particularly because Brooks aims for balance. For instance, critiquing both Trump and Clinton equally, even though I see their failings as vastly different. He avoids talking about issues like gerrymandering or voter purges, likely to maintain an appearance of neutrality. This selective impartiality was sometimes frustrating for me.
Despite this, the main challenge was uplifting: how can we truly love our enemies? Brooks’ point that civility and tolerance aren’t enough resonated with me. It’s about more than just being polite or putting up with differences. Imagine if a couple described their marriage as “civil” or said they “tolerate” each other. That’s not a happy situation. We need to go beyond that and learn to love our political opposites.
This approach is deeply challenging. Even being civil and tolerant is hard because our instincts push us to be harsh and judgmental toward those we disagree with. But if loving our enemies is even harder, how do we start?
Recognizing our common humanity is crucial. We all value things like fairness, freedom, and security, even if we have different ways of achieving them. This common ground often gets lost in political clashes, leading us to see each other as enemies. Millerating each other’s positions and turning to insults doesn’t help.
Take, for example, two people with different views on climate change. One may believe human activities are driving catastrophic changes and advocate for major governmental action. Another might fear such drastic changes and government intervention, leading them to deny the problem altogether. These two can easily become enemies, demonizing and insulting each other rather than communicating effectively.
Brooks offers an inspiring example: the friendship between two Princeton professors, Cornel West and Robert George, who are ideologically opposites. They love and respect each other, showing that it’s possible to disagree profoundly yet relate lovingly.
The key is not to treat empathy as a trick to change others. Acting out of empathy makes us better people, whether or not it changes anyone’s mind. Brooks says love and warmheartedness might not change every heart but are always worth trying, and they make us better off.
I’m trying to put this into practice. I’ve reduced my social media usage and avoid following people who thrive on insulting others. I’m learning to see the common concerns beneath our different worldviews and the humanity beneath our contempt. Communicating empathetically with those I disagree with still scares me, but I’m committed to this lifelong task. Practicing and teaching lovingkindness meditation for years, aiming to love my enemies feels like a calling. When we truly love our enemies, we see them not as enemies but as fellow human beings.
“Love Your Enemies” isn’t perfect, but its central challenge is invaluable. It pushes us to move beyond contemptuous interactions and work toward becoming more loving human beings.