In a series of six posts, I explain using early Buddhist teachings how to overcome our addiction to social media. These teachings come from the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which provides five strategies to manage distracting thoughts and the urges they bring. I’m calling this the “Social Media Sutra” because it’s more memorable and directly applicable to our digital lives.
By “addicted” to social media, I mean using these platforms compulsively despite negative consequences. This fits the classic definition of addiction, where you repeatedly harm yourself but find it hard to stop. This addiction might also come with feelings of shame and secrecy, increased anxiety when trying to cut back, and even an addiction to anger or outrage due to social media use.
The Social Media Sutra offers us five tools. The first tool explains that if you’re focused on something that leads to negative thoughts, you should shift your focus to something more positive. Buddha illustrates this with the example of a carpenter using a smaller peg to remove a larger one.
Social media itself isn’t bad, but our minds often turn to it in unhealthy ways. This includes not just social networks but also online activities like reading news or playing games. The key is to switch from unhelpful urges to more helpful behaviors. Mindfulness helps us make this choice by allowing us to observe our thoughts and understand which actions will make us happier or more miserable.
When we become mindful, we often see unsettling things like addiction or anger, which can lead us to blame ourselves. But blaming ourselves only adds to the problem. We should instead recognize that addictive tendencies are just patterns in our lives, not a sign of personal weakness. We can choose to let go of blame.
To apply this teaching, first, use mindfulness to recognize when you’re doing something that makes you unhappy. Notice the unskillful habit and identify what you need to switch from.
Buddha’s illustration of using a smaller pin to remove a larger one serves as a useful metaphor. While it might seem like your mindfulness and compassion are weak compared to your addictive urges, even small acts of mindfulness can be effective if applied consistently. Remember that it takes repetitive effort to change habits, just like repeated blows of a hammer are needed to drive out a pin.
Three common forms of social media addiction are craving stimulation, craving attention, and becoming angry. Let’s address these one at a time.
First, if you’re addicted to constant stimulation and can’t stop browsing, take a mindful break. Notice physical sensations, feelings, and your surroundings. This wholesome kind of input can make you feel more fulfilled than mindless scrolling ever will. Trust that the present moment is enough and that you can be content right now.
Second, if you’re craving attention and need reassurance from likes and comments, it indicates you’re not feeling good about yourself. To cope, give yourself love, compassion, and appreciation. Place your hand on your heart and remind yourself that you matter and are worthy of care. Trust that you are enough.
Third, if you find yourself addicted to outrage and frequently angry, remind yourself to bring empathy and compassion into the moment. Recognize that your anger is causing you to suffer. Place your hand on your heart and offer yourself kindness. Acknowledge that the person you’re angry with also desires happiness and suffers too. This empathetic connection can help you communicate more kindly.
Trust the power of connection and kindness, and remember to apply these principles in your online activities. Sometimes, when tempted to mindlessly check your phone, reminding yourself to “Trust the Dharma” can help. This phrase encourages you to trust in making mindful choices and in your ability to let go of painful habits.
In summary, the first tool to deal with unhealthy behaviors related to social media is to switch your focus to something positive and skillful. When craving stimulation, trust the present moment. When craving attention, trust that you are enough. When angry, trust in empathetic connection. By doing so, you can move from unhealthy habits to a healthier relationship with social media. Trust the Dharma; it works.