In a series of six posts, I explain how we can liberate ourselves from the addiction to social media using teachings from early Buddhist scriptures. Specifically, we refer to the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which presents five strategies for overcoming compelling thoughts and associated urges.
First, it’s essential to note that the Buddha advises us to use these tools in a specific order. If redirecting our mind to something positive doesn’t work, we should then consider the drawbacks of addiction. If that fails, we move on to the next tool: simply “ignoring and forgetting” what we’re obsessed with, which is the focus for today.
The discourse on this tool is brief. It suggests that if a practitioner experiences bad, unskillful thoughts related to desire, hate, and delusion, they should ignore and forget them. You might think that’s easier said than done!
To illustrate, imagine someone with good eyesight encountering undesirable sights. They would just close their eyes or look away. This might seem simplistic, but it’s practical advice. It essentially boils down to reducing temptation.
We’ll explore this idea in two areas: external activity and internal experience. First, let’s look at how we can literally ignore social media by changing our habits. For instance, if you’re trying to lose weight but struggle with eating potato chips, it’s helpful if you can’t see them. If you avoid the chip aisle in the supermarket, you’re less likely to buy them. The same principle applies to social media addiction.
Most of us access social media through our phones, which we carry everywhere. This constant presence is a source of temptation. Often, social media apps are on the main screen of our phone, making them easily accessible. Try moving these apps to the second or third screen so you have to make an effort to access them. Turn off those red notification badges that grab your attention, as well as any audible notifications. This gives you control over when you check social media, rather than being pulled in by constant alerts.
Consider keeping your phone out of sight and reach sometimes. One of the best things you can do is not to keep your phone by your bedside at night. If you charge your phone there, you’re likely to check it first thing in the morning. Instead, try charging it in another room. If you need to know the time, use an alarm clock.
Turning off your phone while it charges overnight also helps. The minute it takes to boot up in the morning can act as a barrier, helping you avoid instant access to the internet. I find that when I charge my phone in the living room, I’m more likely to meditate or read a book in the morning instead. This sets a positive tone for the rest of the day. Reading a book, especially first thing in the morning, is healthier than going online because it helps train the mind to concentrate.
You can create other opportunities for phone-free time, like during meals with family or friends. Some people even make a game out of it by piling phones on the table in a restaurant; the first person to touch their phone pays for everyone’s meal.
Meditation retreats offer an excellent chance to disconnect. Some retreats require you to hand in your phone, but if not, you can choose to leave it off or in a hard-to-reach place. This reinforces the idea that we can be happy without constant online engagement.
Now, let’s talk about the internal aspect. There’s a deeper practice to help avoid getting caught up in thoughts about our addictions. It can even change the way you meditate. We have two ways of paying attention with our eyes. The first is focusing narrowly on specific points, like a screen or someone’s face. This is like a flashlight, offering a limited view. The second is by relaxing our eye muscles and softening our focus to become aware of everything in our visual field, like a lamp illuminating a room. This method encourages a relaxed, open awareness.
Applying this soft, expansive attention internally can transform our meditation. When our inner focus is narrow, we might get easily distracted by thoughts. But with a soft gaze, we can observe many sensations in the body, making it easier to ignore disruptive thoughts. This “lamp-like” awareness allows thoughts to pass through without drawing our attention.
This approach can help us manage thoughts and urges in day-to-day life. For example, if you feel the need to check Facebook, a softened gaze can help you let go of that compulsion. This method is akin to “urge surfing,” where you observe an urge rising, peaking, and eventually fading away without acting on it.
In summary, reducing our exposure to social media and changing the way we focus our attention can help us overcome addiction. We can create pockets of time without our phones and develop a mental space where thoughts can come and go without overwhelming us. By doing so, we can begin to free ourselves from addictive patterns of behavior.