In a series of six posts, I explain how teachings from early Buddhist scriptures can help us break our addiction to social media. The teachings come from the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which outlines five strategies for overcoming compelling thoughts and urges.
“Vitakkasanthana Sutta” translates to “the Discourse on Quieting Thinking,” but I prefer to call it “the Social Media Sutra.” This name is catchier and reminds us that these teachings are directly applicable to our modern lives.
By “addicted” to social media, I mean using it compulsively, even when it has harmful effects on ourselves and others. This is the classic definition of addiction. We keep doing something harmful because we feel out of control and struggle to stop.
Addiction often comes with secondary consequences. For example, we might feel ashamed of our “weakness” and become secretive about our activities. Trying to cut back on social media can lead to anxiety, and indulging in it can make us prone to anger and outrage, which is particularly troubling.
The Social Media Sutra offers five tools to help overcome these urges. The first tool is explained as follows:
If a practitioner focuses on something that leads to harmful thoughts connected with desire, hate, and delusion, they should switch their focus to something more constructive. As they do this, the bad thoughts will diminish.
Buddha gives an example: “It’s like a skilled carpenter using a small peg to knock out a larger one.”
Although Buddha may have intended this for meditation, it can be applied to any area of life, including our online activities. The issue isn’t that social media is inherently bad, but that we often use it addictively. This includes not just Facebook or Twitter, but any online activity that can become compulsive, like reading news articles or playing games.
The principle is to switch from an unhelpful urge to a more helpful behavior. Mindfulness gives us the ability to make this choice. It allows us to observe our thoughts and actions and to recognize which ones will make us happier or unhappier.
It’s not always comfortable to become mindful. We may notice addictions or anger that make our lives miserable and end up blaming ourselves. But we need to stop this self-blame. Blaming ourselves is just another form of unskillfulness.
Addiction is not a sign of weakness; it’s a result of causes and conditions. So, we choose to stop the blame.
To apply this teaching, first become mindful and recognize that what you’re doing is making you unhappy. Notice the unhelpful mental habit that has arisen. What unskillful activity do you need to switch from?
Buddha used the image of a small peg to remove a larger one. Even if your mindfulness and compassion seem weak compared to the forces of addiction and anger, remember that even small efforts can make a difference. Changing your habits takes time and repetition, so don’t be discouraged.
The three most common forms of social media addiction are craving stimulation, craving attention, and becoming angry.
If you’re craving continual input and feel anxious without a constant flow of information, take a mindful break. Notice physical sensations in your body and the reality of your surroundings. This kind of mindful awareness can leave you feeling more fulfilled.
If you’re craving attention and feel hurt when people don’t “like” or comment on your posts, it probably means you aren’t feeling good about yourself. Instead of seeking reassurance from others, give yourself some love and appreciation. Place your hand on your heart and tell yourself, “It’s OK. You matter, and I care about you.”
If you’re caught up in outrage addiction, reacting with self-righteous anger, bring more empathy and compassion into the present moment. Recognize your own suffering and offer yourself some kindness. Then, remind yourself that the person you’re angry with is also a feeling being. This can help you relate to them more empathetically.
Trusting the present moment, trusting that you matter, and trusting in the power of empathetic connection are vital. Also, trust your practice. Sometimes, when tempted to mindlessly check your phone, remind yourself to “Trust the Dharma.” This means trusting that there’s a better alternative to craving and that true contentment is possible just by being present.
To summarize, the first tool for dealing with social media addiction is to shift your attention to something more skillful. When you’re craving stimulation, learn to trust the present moment. When you’re craving attention, trust that you are enough. When you’re angry, trust in the power of empathetic connection.
In this way, you can develop a healthier relationship with social media. Remember to trust in the Dharma; it works.