In a series of six posts, I explore how early Buddhist teachings can help free us from addiction to social media. The Vitakkasanthana Sutta outlines five strategies to overcome compelling thoughts and urges. Today, we’re focusing on the tool of “ignoring and forgetting” what we’re obsessed by when other strategies fail.
The sutta is brief on this tool, simply suggesting that we should ignore and forget bad, unskillful thoughts related to desire, hate, and delusion. You might think this is easier said than done! The principle seems simplistic but is actually practical and useful when it comes to reducing temptation.
We’ll explore this concept in two areas: external activity and how we relate to our internal experiences. First, in terms of external activity, we can change our habits to ignore social media. For example, if you want to lose weight and have a weakness for potato chips, it’s helpful not to keep them in sight. Similarly, you can apply this principle to social media apps by moving them from the main screen of your phone to make them less accessible. Turning off notifications can also help you avoid being interrupted by these apps, giving you more control over your attention.
Another impactful change is keeping your phone out of sight, especially at night. Charging your phone in another room can help break the habit of checking it first thing in the morning. Using an alarm clock instead of your phone can also prevent your addiction from being the first thing you feed in the morning.
Turning off your phone when charging overnight takes advantage of our natural laziness; the effort needed to boot it up creates a barrier that helps avoid addiction. This habit can lead to a more mindful start to your day, perhaps by reading a book instead of immediately going online. Books, especially physical ones, nourish the mind without the distractions of hyperlinks and notifications.
You can create more phone-free times, such as during meals with family or friends. Some people even pile their phones on the table at restaurants, with the rule that anyone touching their phone pays for everyone’s meal. Meditation retreats can also offer a break from digital engagement, reinforcing the benefits of being offline and present with your experiences.
Internally, we can reduce our compulsion to check our phones by how we use our attention. There are two ways of paying attention with our eyes: a narrow focus, like a flashlight, and a broader, softer focus, like a lamp. The latter can make it easier to let thoughts and urges pass without acting on them. This approach can also enhance meditation by expanding our awareness and reducing the likelihood of becoming distracted by thoughts.
Interestingly, a soft gaze can make it easier to manage urges. This technique is similar to “urge surfing,” where you observe the urge building up and then subsiding without giving in to it. Adopting a soft gaze can help you ride out these urges, making it easier to stay focused on tasks.
In summary, we can manage our social media addiction by:
1. Reducing exposure to temptation.
2. Shifting how we relate to our internal experiences by adopting a soft gaze.
These methods help us create spaces free from addiction and allow us to let go of compulsive behaviors more easily. We learn that urges are temporary and can pass without our engagement, leading to greater freedom from addictive patterns.