Generally, we humans struggle with doing things that are good for our long-term wellbeing, especially when they are challenging in the short-term. Take meditating or exercising regularly, for example. These habits require self-discipline and can be hard to fit into our already busy lives. It’s difficult to meditate when we’re feeling restless, and exercise often causes discomfort. Despite their long-term benefits of making us healthier and happier, the future can seem distant and less pressing compared to the immediate present.
Often, we try to power through these challenges by forcing ourselves to engage in activities that are tough now but beneficial later. This approach, however, can be hard to maintain and might even lead to a backlash. We might diet and then binge or train hard only to veg out later.
I’ve discovered a simple and compassionate way to bridge this gap and stay committed to our long-term wellbeing. It involves treating our future selves with compassion, much like we would treat a friend. By being kind to our future selves, self-discipline becomes easier and more sustainable.
For instance, letting ourselves off the hook often happens because we focus on the immediate discomfort. Self-compassion, on the other hand, considers how our actions will affect us in the long term. This mindset shift helps us establish a compassionate relationship with our future selves, making it easier to practice self-discipline. Instead of seeing self-discipline as a form of self-punishment, it transforms into a form of self-care.
When we approach our future selves with empathy, we’re less likely to experience backlash because we aren’t forcing ourselves to do anything. Instead, we’re persuading ourselves rationally and kindly. Thinking about the happiness our future selves will experience due to our current actions can bring joy into the present. Feeling gratitude towards our past selves for their actions also becomes a source of happiness. This approach is much more pleasant than merely trying to “power through,” and it helps us see ourselves as friends working towards our own happiness, rather than obstacles to it.
In essence, having empathy for our future selves makes it easier to avoid impulsive behaviors and to act in ways that promote our long-term wellbeing.
When our long-term wellbeing calls for rest, it’s important to listen to that need as well. Balancing between pushing through laziness and not overexerting ourselves is crucial, especially as we age. This principle can apply to various aspects of life, such as exercise routines or even getting enough sleep.
Implementing this compassionate mindset can turn into a powerful tool for overcoming procrastination and other self-defeating behaviors. By treating our future selves kindly, we can improve our lives significantly.