In a series of six posts, I explain how we can free ourselves from social media addiction using teachings from early Buddhist scriptures, specifically the Vitakkasanthana Sutta. This scripture outlines five strategies for overcoming compelling thoughts and urges.
First, the Buddha advises working through these tools in order. If redirecting the mind to something positive doesn’t work, then we try to see the drawbacks of our addiction. If that doesn’t work either, we move on to the next tool: simply “ignore and forget” whatever is obsessing us. That’s the focus of this discussion.
The advice here is straightforward: if unskillful thoughts connected with desire, hate, and delusion keep surfacing in the mind, we should ignore and forget them. You might think this sounds easier said than done, but let’s explore how practical and useful this advice can be in reducing temptation.
We’ll look at this in two areas: external activity and internal activity. Externally, this involves changing our habits to literally ignore and look away from social media. Internally, it’s about how we relate to our experiences and use our attention.
To manage your attention practically, consider this: if you want to lose weight and have a problem with eating potato chips, don’t keep them in the house. This way, you won’t be tempted. Similarly, avoid walking down the chip aisle at the supermarket. The same principle applies to online addictions. Our devices, which we use for a multitude of tasks, also provide constant temptation because we carry them everywhere.
Try moving your social media apps from the main screen of your phone to the second or third screen. Turning off notification badges and audible alerts can also help, allowing you to discover what’s on these apps when you choose to visit, not when they want your attention. This puts some power back in your hands and helps you focus.
Keeping your phone out of sight, especially at night, can be one of the best things for breaking your addiction. An alarm clock can replace the phone beside your bed. Charging your phone in another room means you won’t start your day or interrupt your sleep by going online. One additional step is to turn your phone off when charging overnight. This utilizes your natural laziness to create a barrier between you and instant internet access.
Starting the day without immediate internet access can lead to healthier habits. For example, instead of checking your phone, meditating or reading a book first thing in the morning can be a much better way to begin your day. Physical books, especially on personal development, can nourish the mind in ways that online material often does not.
Create phone-free times, such as during meals with family or friends. Some people even put their phones in a pile at the table, with the stipulation that anyone who touches their phone pays for everyone’s meal. Meditation retreats also offer a great opportunity to disconnect, often requiring participants to hand over their phones or leave them off and out of sight.
Externally, we can do much to limit distraction. Internally, however, we can also avoid getting caught up in thoughts about our addictions. There are two ways to pay attention with our eyes: a focused, narrow beam of attention like a flashlight, and a relaxed, open awareness like a lamp. The latter can help us stay aware of many sensations without getting caught up in any single one.
In meditation, a narrow focus can make us bored and more likely to become distracted by thoughts. An open, relaxed gaze allows us to be aware of many sensations and makes our mind more nourished. When a thought arises, it just passes through without us getting caught up in it.
Applying this open awareness during ordinary activities can help us ignore and forget compelling thoughts. For instance, an urge to check Facebook can be observed and let go without acting on it. This practice is similar to “urge surfing,” where we simply observe urges rise and fall like waves.
By making these changes and adopting an open gaze, we can reduce our chances of being distracted by social media and create a mental space where thoughts and impulses no longer control us. We can begin to free ourselves from addictive patterns of thought and behavior.