A common struggle people face in meditation is that their thoughts are more vivid than their direct experience of their body. This often results in an internal tug-of-war where attention shifts between breathing and distracted thinking. Learning not to stress about these distractions helps, as stressing is just another form of distraction.
The typical meditation advice — to keep returning to the breath — isn’t very effective at calming the mind. Many people can spend years doing this and still struggle to become fully absorbed in their sensory experiences. However, there are better ways to achieve a calm mind, and it’s not as difficult as it seems. There are two main strategies to focus on:
First, let’s talk about relaxing the muscles around the eyes and having a gentler focus. This mimics what happens naturally when we stare into space in a relaxed state. While we might not be very mindful when daydreaming, doing this with intention helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, bringing about relaxation.
When your eyes are soft, you can be aware of your entire visual field, instead of focusing intently on one thing. This open and receptive state allows you to notice more both externally and internally, creating a richer and more restful visual experience. This openness translates internally as well, making you more aware of various inner sensations.
Previously, with narrowly focused eyes, paying attention to breathing meant focusing on one small aspect at a time. Now, with softened eyes, you can notice numerous sensations associated with breathing. This leads to a richer experience where you can appreciate how different parts of the breathing process work together, transforming breathing into something aesthetic and fascinating.
With this broader focus, your mind stays occupied and has less need to create distracting thoughts. The field of attention becomes spacious and open, making thoughts less likely to capture your focus. For instance, you can focus on three areas of breathing — the belly, upper back, and nostrils — forming a triangle of sensation. Other approaches include observing breathing as a wave moving through the body or experiencing it as a three-dimensional process. Additionally, you can be mindful of everything entering your senses, such as sounds, light, and thoughts.
Keeping your eyes soft helps in maintaining this expansive focus, calming the mind. If you do get distracted, think of your thoughts as a mindfulness bell, prompting you to soften your eyes again. This way, your direct sensory experience becomes more vivid and compelling, making it easier to calm the mind.
Softening the eyes can significantly enhance your meditation practice. It fosters complete, joyful immersion in your sensory experience and can be applied outside meditation too. Try it while walking, eating, or conversing, and notice how it brings a new level of calmness and presence to your life.
This approach offers a refreshing change in meditation practice, making it feel less like a command and more integrated with your lived experience. Many people have found it powerful; for instance, it helps with tension relief while watching TV or driving. Some even use it to calm an overactive mind at night, aiding in falling back asleep.
Returning to meditation after a break can feel like starting anew, but integrating this technique can help you quickly regain past experiences. Softening the eyes transforms how the mind engages during meditation, providing relief and richness to the practice. For individuals with conditions like CFS or eye strain, a defocused gaze offers significant rest and recovery.
Ultimately, breath awareness remains a foundational practice, and softening the eyes enhances this by making meditation more dynamic and engaging. If you’re restarting your meditation journey or simply looking for ways to deepen it, this technique can bring you back to center, no matter what you’re doing.