Happiness is often the most repressed emotion. This might be surprising at first, but think about what happens during meditation. We notice when our mind starts to wander and gets caught up in various thoughts. Once we realize this, we let go of those thoughts and focus back on our breathing or immediate sensory experience. After a few minutes, we start feeling calmer and happier, or at least less troubled.
Breathing itself isn’t what makes us happier; it’s the fact that a lot of our thinking can lead to stress or unhappiness. When we let go of these thoughts, we stop making ourselves unhappy. Our constant and unchecked thinking often dampens our sense of well-being.
Another way we suppress our natural happiness is by ignoring the positives in our lives. We often focus on what’s going wrong and overlook what’s going right. This is a cognitive distortion. When we start to notice and appreciate the good things, we feel happier. Psychologists say that being grateful and appreciative boosts our happiness. In one study, participants wrote a letter of appreciation to someone who had helped them, and they felt noticeably happier a month later. Other studies have shown that writing down things we’re thankful for each day can improve our happiness and health, even helping us sleep better.
A few months ago, I was feeling down about my life. My girlfriend at the time pointed out some positives: I live in a beautiful apartment, have two wonderful kids, good friends, and generally good health. Reflecting on these things improved my mood significantly.
I recommend taking a moment to say “thank you” for the good things in your life. This could be out loud or in your mind. If you’re struggling to identify what’s going well, remember that we often overlook the positives. Here are some examples:
– You have shelter.
– You have internet access.
– You own a device that connects you to a vast amount of information.
– You have electricity and water.
– Your waste is disposed of hygienically.
– You have food at home.
– You have furniture, which is a luxury many people in the world don’t have.
– You breathe clean air.
– Paved roads are nearby.
– You live in a relatively safe area with emergency services.
– Your heart is beating, and mostly, your body functions well.
– If you have health issues, your body is trying to heal itself.
– Your senses work well enough to get by.
– You are aware of the world around you and have self-awareness.
– You have the capacity to learn and to cultivate gratitude.
If you’ve done this exercise sincerely, you might notice a shift in your mood. Turning your attention from what’s wrong to what’s right can make a big difference. Gratitude makes what we have feel like abundance.
This doesn’t mean we should ignore life’s difficulties. However, focusing solely on problems can make them harder to bear. There are also terrible things happening in the world, but being depressed hinders our ability to respond constructively to these challenges.