In a series of six posts, I explain how we can break free from our social media addiction using teachings from early Buddhist scriptures. These teachings are detailed in the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which outlines five strategies to overcome persistent thoughts and urges.
One key aspect to note is that the Buddha’s advice is to use these tools in sequence. If redirecting our mind to something positive doesn’t work, we should then consider the drawbacks of our addiction. If that also fails, the next step is to “ignore and forget” whatever we’re fixated on. That’s what we’ll focus on today.
The Vitakkasanthana Sutta briefly states that if unskillful thoughts related to desire, hate, or delusion keep arising, we should ignore and forget them. Although this sounds easier said than done, it’s worth exploring.
The principle boils down to reducing temptation. We’ll look at this in two areas: external activities and internal experiences. First, we’ll discuss how to change our habits to literally ignore and look away from social media.
Consider this example: if you want to lose weight but struggle with eating potato chips, having them in your house makes it easier to give in. Not seeing the foods you crave can help you avoid them. The same goes for social media; try moving your social media apps to a less accessible screen on your phone and turning off any notifications that draw your attention to them.
It’s beneficial to keep your phone out of sight at night. Charging your phone elsewhere can help you resist the urge to reach for it as soon as you wake up. If you worry about knowing the time, an alarm clock is a great alternative.
Another suggestion is turning off your phone while it charges overnight. This adds a slight barrier since it takes time to boot up, making it easier to avoid immediate access to the internet. When I do this, I find I’m more likely to meditate or read a book in the morning instead of jumping online.
Creating phone-free times during meals with family or friends is also helpful. For example, you can pile all phones in the middle of the table, and the first person to touch theirs pays for everyone’s meal. Meditation retreats are another chance to disconnect and realize we don’t need to be online to be happy.
Internally, we can change how we pay attention to reduce getting caught up in these thoughts. This involves shifting from a narrow focus, like a flashlight, to a wide focus, like a lamp. When our gaze is soft and open, it helps our mind stay relaxed and less likely to fixate on distracting thoughts.
This method can transform meditation practice. A narrow focus can lead to getting lost in thought, whereas a broader, softer gaze allows us to be aware of multiple sensations within our body and let thoughts pass without engaging with them.
This approach, often called “urge surfing,” involves observing urges as they rise and fall, understanding they’re temporary. Whether at work or otherwise, watching the urge without acting on it helps it diminish on its own.
In summary, simple changes like reducing immediate access to social media and altering how we focus our attention can help us ignore and forget the thoughts and impulses that keep us addicted. By observing rather than acting on these impulses, we can break free from ingrained patterns of behavior and thought.