We often avoid meditating for various reasons. Maybe we don’t want to deal with certain emotions, fear failure in our practice, or worry it’s selfish to take time for ourselves. Some of us might think that meditating means we won’t get other things done, or we’re simply scared of change.
Despite knowing that meditation is good for us, having read about its benefits and feeling happier when we do it, we often find ways to avoid it. Our lives get busy, and we just can’t bring ourselves to sit down and meditate.
I used to think that understanding why I resisted meditation would help, but it rarely did. I realized that rather than analyzing my resistance, I needed to accept and embrace it. This approach is an important part of mindful self-compassion.
When you feel resistance to meditation, try to become aware of the feelings that come with it. Notice where they’re located in your body, their shape, texture, and the thoughts they trigger. Just be with the resistance, making it an object of mindfulness. Understand that resistance is a form of conflict and potentially fear, which are forms of pain. Acknowledge this pain with kindness, offering yourself soothing words like, “It’s OK. You’re going to be OK. I’ll take good care of you.”
Interestingly, becoming mindful of your resistance means you’re already meditating. Your resistance becomes a chance to develop mindfulness rather than a barrier. So wherever you are, close your eyes, breathe in, and experience the resistance. Breathe out, and experience it again. This is mindful breathing meditation.
Continue to reassure the fearful part of yourself with words like, “I accept you as part of my experience. I care about you and want you to be at ease. You’re free to stay as long as you like, and you’re welcome to meditate with me.” Do this until you feel settled in your practice.
The specific reasons for your resistance aren’t important because you’re not engaging with your rationalizations directly. This is beneficial because doubt can easily outwit you. It knows exactly how to make you feel small and incapable. However, what it doesn’t know is how to deal with being seen and accepted.
So instead of debating with your resistance, outsmart it with mindful awareness and kindness. If you find your resistance continues day after day, set a low bar for what counts as “a day in which you meditate.” Even five minutes is enough. Regularity is more important than the length of each session. If you meditate for just five minutes daily, you’re establishing a regular practice and overcoming your resistance.
Remember, the only “bad meditation” is the one you don’t do. Every other session is beneficial, so don’t stress about the quality—just do it.