While sitting in a traffic jam under a grey sky, taking my computer for repair, I had a moment of clarity: “My happiness doesn’t depend on this.” This thought, grounded in the Buddhist principle of non-attachment, dawned on me in simple, understandable terms. It was quite a revelation that immediately made me see its potential benefits in daily life.
I was anxious about how the repair shop would respond since their previous fix had caused new issues. But once I realized that their reaction wouldn’t affect my long-term happiness, my stress melted away. I got my computer fixed and moved on.
This experience inspired me to apply the idea consciously. Now, almost every day, I remind myself that “my happiness does not depend on this,” whether it’s a stolen phone, unexpected snow, new taxes, or weekly challenges. These events demand attention and effort, and while they might bring satisfaction or frustration, they don’t affect my overall happiness. Accepting this frees me to focus on what needs to be done without the pressure of needing everything to go perfectly.
For most of my life, I assumed that my happiness depended on succeeding in whatever I did. This belief often operated below my conscious awareness. Bringing it to the forefront helped me see how illogical it was. Over time, I realized that my new mantra was essentially a personal translation of Buddhist teachings on non-attachment.
This notion has not only helped me but also benefitted my mindfulness students, by emphasizing that mindfulness is more than techniques; it’s an approach to living and understanding our place in the world.
Of course, some elements do contribute to my happiness, like close relationships. Would a hardcore Buddhist say my happiness shouldn’t depend even on those? Perhaps, but I find balance by letting only a few essential things matter deeply while accepting that most every day events shouldn’t sway my happiness.
When I wrote about this idea in my Irish Times column, the response was overwhelming. Readers from various backgrounds appreciated its impact immediately. It’s fascinating that an ancient Buddhist principle still resonates profoundly today, especially when modern advice on living is abundant.
In this era, a 2,600-year-old concept feels like a breath of fresh air, highlighting how enduring and relevant such wisdom can be.