In a series of six posts, I’ll explain, using early Buddhist teachings, how we can free ourselves from our addiction to social media. These teachings are found in the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which outlines five strategies for overcoming compelling thoughts and urges.
The Vitakkasanthana Sutta, or “Discourse on Quieting Thinking,” can be aptly renamed the “Social Media Sutra.” This new name not only makes the teachings more accessible but also highlights their relevance to modern life, particularly our online habits.
When I say we’re “addicted” to social media, I mean we use these platforms compulsively, despite knowing they have harmful consequences for us and others. Addiction typically involves repeatedly engaging in harmful behavior and struggling to stop despite our best efforts.
Addiction often has secondary effects like feeling ashamed of our “weakness” and becoming secretive. Cutting back on social media might cause strong anxiety, and indulging in it can lead to becoming addicted to anger and outrage. These issues can be among the most significant and troubling aspects of social media addiction.
The Social Media Sutra provides five tools for overcoming these compelling urges. The first tool involves shifting focus to a more positive, helpful activity when you’re consumed by negative thoughts or feelings stirred by desire, hate, and delusion. This technique is akin to how a carpenter might replace a large peg with a smaller one.
The Buddha’s teachings aren’t explicitly about meditation; they can be applied to many aspects of life, including our online activities. The issue isn’t that social media is inherently bad, but that our minds often engage with it in unhealthy ways. This includes using platforms like Facebook and Twitter or other online activities like reading news articles or playing games.
Mindfulness is the key here, giving us the ability to step back and observe our thoughts and actions. It lets us make choices that lead to happiness rather than misery. However, being mindful isn’t always easy. We might notice things like addiction or anger that cause us to suffer, and we may end up blaming ourselves. But it’s crucial to stop self-blame and recognize that addiction is not a personal failing but a result of various causes and conditions.
To use this teaching, first, with mindfulness, recognize when you’re doing something that makes you unhappy. Identify the harmful mental habit you need to change.
The Buddha’s analogy of using a small peg to knock out a larger one helps illustrate this point. Your mindfulness or compassion might seem weak compared to the forces of addiction and anger, but they can be effective if applied correctly. Just like a carpenter needs multiple hits to remove a peg, changing habits takes time and persistence.
There are three common forms of social media addiction: craving stimulation, craving attention, and getting angry. Let’s take these one by one.
Craving continual input means you don’t want to stop browsing and feel anxious without a constant flow of information. If you’re craving stimulation, take a mindful break. Focus on physical sensations in your body and your surroundings. This kind of stimulation is more wholesome and grounding. Unlike online stimulation, mindfully appreciating your immediate experience can leave you feeling more fulfilled.
Craving attention often stems from not feeling good about yourself. You might seek reassurance through likes and comments, feeling hurt or disappointed when they don’t come. If this is the case, start by giving yourself some compassion and appreciation. Place your hand on your heart and tell yourself, “It’s OK. I’m here for you. You matter.” This practice helps you learn to trust that you are enough.
Outrage addiction involves feeling a self-righteous anger that you become dependent on. This might lead to saying hurtful things or blocking people to avoid facing your reactions. If you’re angry, recognize that you’re suffering. Offer yourself kindness and then remember that the person you’re angry with is also a feeling being. This empathetic connection can help you relate and communicate more kindly.
Sometimes, when tempted to mindlessly pick up your phone, remind yourself to “Trust the Dharma.” This phrase reinforces the idea that there’s something better than craving and that mindful choices lead to true contentment. Trusting the Dharma means believing in your ability to let go of harmful habits and find happiness in the present moment.
In summary, the first tool for addressing harmful social media habits is to shift your attention to something positive. When craving stimulation, trust the present moment. When craving attention, trust that you are enough and matter. When angry, trust in the power of empathetic connection. By incorporating these practices, you can develop a healthier relationship with social media.
Remember, trust the Dharma. It works.