Embrace Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

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Embrace Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

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Embrace Your Pain (The Social Media Sutra, Part 4)

In a series of six posts, I’ve been exploring how to break free from our addiction to social media by using teachings from early Buddhist scriptures. These teachings are from the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which describes five strategies to overcome compelling urges. I’m referring to it as “the Social Media Sutra.”

This sutta doesn’t just address our internal self-talk but also the emotional urges that come with it. Therefore, the compulsion to use social media or surf the internet falls into this context of thinking.

The first tool is to focus our attention on something positive. The second is to recognize the drawbacks of our negative behaviors. The third is about reducing temptation. Now, let’s dive into the fourth tool and its application to social media addiction.

The fourth tool is known as “stopping the formation of thoughts,” essentially finding a way to halt our incessant thinking. The sutta suggests that when other methods fail to quiet our unskillful thoughts and urges, we should try to stop forming these thoughts altogether. This helps the mind become calm, unified, and absorbed in mindfulness.

To illustrate this, consider the image provided in the sutta: Imagine someone walking quickly who then decides to slow down, stand still, sit, and finally lie down. This represents gradually adopting more relaxed states. Similarly, when our minds are racing with thoughts and urges that push us towards compulsive online activity, we need to become aware of the mechanisms driving us and let go of them, allowing our minds to rest.

For example, when mindlessly surfing the web, we might notice an underlying sense of anxiety, like a prickly sensation in the gut. One part of our brain interprets boredom or missing out as a threat and creates this unpleasant feeling, prompting us to seek distractions online. This leads to a cycle of moving from one web page to the next, often accompanied by thoughts like “Just one more article.”

Feelings are pivotal in Buddhist practice. According to the Buddha, “everything converges on feeling.” It’s the unpleasant feeling that influences our behavior. By becoming mindful of these feelings, we can see that we don’t need to be driven by them. Instead, we can observe them, recognize the suffering they represent, and respond with compassion.

This mindful self-compassion creates a pause, allowing us to act more wisely rather than reactively. In the context of internet addiction, the unpleasant feelings driving us can vary, including boredom, hollowness, dread, or anxiety. However, training ourselves to turn toward and accept our discomfort with kindness and compassion helps pivot from reactivity to a more mindful, creative response.

When I catch myself obsessively reading online articles, I use this approach. I acknowledge my suffering and mindfully focus on the present feelings, often finding unpleasant sensations in the gut. Without mindfulness, I interpret these sensations as signals needing immediate attention, typically seeking a fix by going online. But these reactions are instinctual, not planned.

Being mindful allows me to see the unpleasant feeling as a mere body sensation created by a concerned part of my brain. Instead of acting on it, I observe it and offer kindness and compassion. Simply touching my belly and silently wishing well-being helps.

Our addiction to social media or the internet is driven by a desire to escape emotional pain. We can’t overcome this urge until we learn to face our pain with mindfulness and compassion. Craving something is like an invisible cord connecting us to it, through which our emotions flow. Mindfully addressing our painful feelings can sever this cord, weakening our emotional connection to the internet and freeing us to choose more wholesome activities.

In summary, the fourth tool involves stopping the formation of unskillful urges. By recognizing and compassionately responding to the feelings driving our thoughts and urges, we can break free from the compulsion to engage with social media.

What have we learned today?