Yesterday, someone reached out to me, mentioning that as they delved deeper into their spiritual practice, they began to experience rising anger. They recently started their journey towards freedom from suffering caused by themselves or others, but now they feel it has turned into an anger issue. They are seeking suggestions to help them find their centered, grounded, healing, happy place.
This kind of reaction is normal. When we step out of our comfort zone, fear can arise. As we practice meditation, we can become more sensitive to our body, and our feelings become more pronounced. Personally, I’ve found that anger often surfaces as a response to painful emotions that we haven’t yet learned to tolerate. The good news is that we can learn to accept these feelings, and as a result, anger won’t need to surface anymore. We’ve built up an expectation that these feelings are threatening, much like childhood fears of monsters under the bed. Just as those childhood fears were unfounded, our current fears of these feelings are often baseless too.
These feelings do exist, but when we accept them, we realize they aren’t a big deal. They’re simply patterns of sensation in the body, part of an ancient internal communication system. Once accepted, these feelings often dissipate, much like the darkness under the bed vanishes when the light is turned on.
It’s important to acknowledge that a part of us is indeed scared of these feelings. This fear will persist while we convince ourselves to face the feelings we’ve been avoiding. These feelings might be hurt, fear, or confusion. When anger arises, focus on what’s happening in your heart and gut. Notice and accept it, telling yourself, “It’s OK to feel this. Let me feel this.” Understand that there’s nothing wrong with having these feelings. It’s not a failure; it’s just a habit your brain has developed to protect you.
Treat the part of you that generates these feelings with kindness. It’s hurt, confused, and afraid—it’s not evil and deserves compassion, not condemnation. Practice showing it compassion by gently touching the part of your body where these feelings are strongest. Reassure this part of yourself, expressing love and care, and letting it know you are there to support it.
By relating to your feelings as parts of you in need of support rather than as threats, you’ll start to lose your fear. You’ll notice your anger diminishing because it was only trying to shield you from hurt or confusion. When you accept your painful feelings, there’s no need for anger to protect you from them.
This morning’s meditation brought up strong feelings for me—more hurt and sadness than anger. Initially, I wasn’t sure if I felt unwell physically because the emotions manifested physically without being tied to specific thoughts. I now welcome these experiences because I know they signify letting go of something and ultimately feeling better. It’s also an opportunity to practice self-compassion.
Always wise and helpful insights, beneficial for both personal growth and for the clients I work with.