Embracing the Bliss of Not Being There

CalmMinds MeditationMindfulness

Embracing the Bliss of Not Being There

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Embracing the Bliss of Not Being There

I’m currently teaching an online course called “Calm In the Storm,” which focuses on finding peace during these turbulent times. Teaching it has helped me concentrate on specific practices, and as Seneca the Younger wisely noted, “Men learn while they teach.”

This course has made me more aware of how I interact with the news, social media, and technology. Surprisingly, adjusting my relationship with these elements has significantly impacted my sense of well-being. Over the past few weeks, I’ve felt much calmer and more at peace. I’m less anxious, clearer in thought, and more purposeful. I’m accomplishing more and feel a stronger sense of confidence and achievement.

Before diving into the changes I’ve made, let me share a bit about my social media habits. I’ve been cutting back a lot. Once an avid Google Plus user, I rarely visit it now as it’s shutting down. I quit Facebook because of the constant arguments and stopped using Instagram partly due to privacy concerns and an unhealthy craving for “likes.” Currently, Twitter is my main social media outlet, but my approach can apply to any platform.

I was spending too much time on Twitter, which negatively impacted my emotions. The content there often thrives on outrage, leading to shallow discussions filled with slogans, blame, and arguments. I found myself continually checking Twitter throughout the day, driven by FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). This constant engagement caused anxiety whenever I missed updates.

This was compounded by a news addiction, particularly with the current crises in both Britain and the US. While staying informed is important, the news cycle can create anxiety and a compulsion to stay updated, forming a harmful loop.

Here are some steps I’ve taken to regain sanity and calm:

I mainly get news online, which can be quite compulsive, so I’ve limited my access. I don’t watch TV news due to its urgency and unpleasantness. I disabled Chrome’s automatic news feed on my iPhone and deleted the Apple News app to cut down on distractions, saving me a lot of time.

Now, I only glance at news headlines and read detailed articles if they genuinely interest me—usually science or psychology pieces. I also stopped sleeping with my phone by my bed, as it would draw me into work and social media first thing in the morning. Instead, I charge it overnight in the living room and use my Apple Watch as an alarm clock.

I admire how gracefully Chelsea Clinton and Cory Booker handle their critics. I’ve unfollowed or blocked people who are overly negative or insulting but still follow some with differing views to avoid living in an echo chamber.

Cutting down on Twitter use was tough. I deleted the app from my iPhone but could still access it via browser. I then blocked the site on my phone using Screen Time settings to create friction and reduce accessibility.

For my computer, I use Stayfocusd, a Chrome plugin that limits time on specific sites. I set a 20-minute daily limit for Twitter, which helps me focus on meaningful content rather than getting sucked into endless scrolling.

To reclaim my attention, I’ve minimized notifications. I keep email alerts silent and only allow audible notifications for calendar events, texts, and calls. My phone often stays in Do Not Disturb mode when I need to focus. As a result, I’ve used my phone for only 16 minutes today by 3 PM.

Withdrawal wasn’t easy, and I sometimes felt restless without constant updates. But reminding myself that my phone is just a tool has helped me break free. The benefits include greater calm, happiness, focus, and productivity. I’m also reading more; I’m almost done with a novel I started a week ago, which feels gratifying.

One course participant shared a useful practice: noticing and deciding whether something enhances or detracts from our quality of life. The changes I’ve made have had a more significant impact on my well-being than my daily meditation. My life now feels more like a meditation retreat—simpler and more joyful.

Am I missing out? Sure, but only on stress, anxiety, and overstimulation. “Missing out” has become a joy. I encourage you to try some of these approaches and discover your own ways to transition from FOMO to the Joy of Missing Out (JOMO).