An elderly friend once told me, “Aging isn’t for the faint-hearted.” She was referring to the physical challenges that come with getting older, like aches, pains, and the difficulty of doing things that used to be easy. On top of that, many of us feel self-conscious about our appearance as we age, viewing it as a weakness rather than a natural part of life. Aging isn’t a flaw; it’s just a normal part of being human.
The Buddha spoke often about aging, describing it as one form of dukkha, which translates to suffering or dissatisfaction. He also mentioned that we become infatuated with youth, convinced that we are fundamentally different from those who are older. However, this intoxication with youth can make accepting the reality of aging difficult.
Today, I led a meditation in front of my bathroom mirror and I’d like to share the practice with you. To try this meditation yourself, find a mirror where you can see at least your face, but ideally your upper body as well. Make sure the area is well-lit, as dim lighting can play tricks on your brain and lead to strange illusions. Sit or stand—whatever feels comfortable for you.
Keep your eyes open during this meditation, but let them relax. Don’t fix your gaze on one spot; instead, gently let your eyes explore your reflection. As you do this, notice the sensations of your breathing, and watch the rise and fall of your breath in the mirror. Approach this with kindness, recalling what it’s like to look at someone with warmth and care. You might even see that kindness reflected back in your own eyes.
We often judge our appearance more critically than we do others’. We focus on blemishes, wrinkles, gray hair, and areas that are no longer firm. But what if we viewed these features as simply part of our human appearance, just as we do in others? We might even find beauty in them.
Try to appreciate the details of your appearance without judgment. See if you can look at yourself with the same kindness you would offer to someone else. As you spot a wrinkle or gray hair, tell yourself, “How beautiful that is! How beautiful is this sign of humanness!”
You can also remind yourself that “Aging is inherent in human life. May I meet aging with grace and dignity.” Repeat this several times, and follow it with, “May I support myself with kindness as I age.”
Continue this practice for as long as you wish, keeping a gentle and accepting gaze towards yourself. This meditation aims to help you be more accepting and appreciative of the signs of aging and other imperfections.
If you’d like to, you can set a timer for at least 15 minutes to extend this meditation. Remember to always regard yourself with kind eyes and an accepting heart.