The Buddha taught that we can replace unhelpful thoughts, which cause us unnecessary suffering, with more beneficial ones. He likened this to how a carpenter dislodges a wooden peg from a hole by hammering in a smaller peg. This idea is very practical in meditation and can be applied in various ways. One common method is using mantras, whether spoken aloud or repeated silently. For example, chanting “Om Mani Padme Hum” can help fill the mind, leaving less room for anxious, resentful, or self-doubting thoughts.
While chanting a mantra, you might not notice immediate changes, but afterward, you often feel more relaxed and calm. This is because you’ve given your mind a break from its usual stress-inducing thought patterns. Sometimes, instead of traditional Sanskrit mantras, we use phrases in our own language that help direct our attention. For instance, I frequently use the phrase “Soft Eyes, Open Field of Attention; Kind Eyes, Meeting Everything With Tenderness.” Here’s why and how I use these phrases.
“Soft Eyes”: I often start guided meditations by encouraging people to soften their eyes. This means relaxing the muscles around the eyes and letting your focus be gentle. You can try this right now by looking away from the screen. You’ll probably find that it relaxes you almost instantly and calms your mind.
Our minds are often on high alert, constantly searching for problems to solve, which is driven by the sympathetic nervous system, responsible for “fight or flight.” This often involves keeping our eyes narrowly focused and in constant motion. By softening the eyes, we trigger the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes a state of calm and relaxation.
With tense eyes and an active sympathetic nervous system, even during meditation, our minds keep problem-solving, leading to distractions. But with softened eyes, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system, helping the mind to feel safer and reducing restlessness and unnecessary thinking.
“Open Field of Attention”: Tense eyes lead to a narrow focus, even when we close our eyes during meditation. This results in a limited inner field of attention, which doesn’t provide enough sensation to keep the mind engaged and can lead to distraction. Soft eyes create a gentler, more open field of attention. This helps us to sense many aspects of our breathing at once and even be aware of the whole body breathing, which makes it easier to stay focused during meditation.
“Kind Eyes”: Bringing kindness into our present-moment experience by remembering how we have looked with love at others can change our inner focus. Over time, just recalling the feeling of kind eyes can bring tenderness into our experience, reminding us to connect with kindness.
“Meeting Everything With Tenderness”: Soft eyes lead to an open field of attention, and kind eyes bring warmth, patience, and compassion into our experience. By meeting our thoughts and feelings with tenderness, we create a more accepting and compassionate inner environment.
When I meditate, I pace these phrases with my breath. I drop a phrase into my mind on the out-breath, then take two or three breaths to simply observe the experience the phrase points to, before introducing the next one. If I’m particularly distracted, I might use the phrases more frequently. Conversely, if I’m deeply focused, I might not use the phrases at all, just embodying their intentions.
This method allows for adjustment based on how you’re feeling. Sometimes, I change the phrases to better fit my needs, such as adjusting “soft eyes, open field of attention” to “soft eyes, body alive” to more explicitly focus on the body’s sensations.
Though people often think all thinking should be avoided in meditation, consciously used thoughts can direct attention to sensory experiences, quieting the mind. Play around with this tool to see what works best for you.