Lately, my life feels incredibly complicated and sometimes overwhelming. The process of moving houses took weeks of preparation and packing, followed by the exhausting task of unpacking and organizing everything. My partner and I just moved in together, which means we’re navigating a lot of changes in our relationship. On top of that, my kids now attend two different schools in two different towns, making me spend over two hours a day just driving. I also committed to giving four video talks for Tricycle magazine, which required an enormous amount of effort. And we recently decided to adopt a stray puppy, adding another layer of complexity with vet visits and replacing chewed-up phone and laptop cables.
All of these things have left my mind in a constant state of anxiety. I’m always worried I might be forgetting something, like whether it’s my turn to take the kids to school, or how I’ll find time to write articles, record meditations, and help out with tech support for my online course participants. It feels like there’s always another complication around the corner.
During these challenging times, my meditation practice has been a major relief. It’s not like it makes all my problems or my reactions to them disappear. Quite the opposite, actually—the stuff I deal with in life shows up in my meditation, and that’s the point. Meditation gives me a chance to work through it all.
Thoughts about work, family schedules, or communication difficulties come up. I notice them, let them go, and bring my focus back to my body and my breath. Sometimes, I experience moments of not-thinking, even if it’s just for a few breaths. I become aware of the tension in my body and allow myself to relax it, even just a little. I notice my anxiety, and although it’s unpleasant, I let myself be present with it without reacting, creating a sense of space around the feeling.
By letting go of thoughts, accepting uncomfortable feelings, and softening my body, I’ve found a way to manage. It’s vital to observe how the texture of my experience changes as I let go of stress and accept my feelings. The shift might not be huge, but it’s real. There’s a move away from suffering toward a sense of well-being.
The texture of my experience—how it feels mentally and physically—changes with these practices. When I’m stressed and tense, the texture is rough and unpleasant. When I’m calm and accepting, the texture is easy and pleasant. Paying attention to this texture helps me stay anchored in calm and ease.
Recognizing and appreciating these subtle changes is crucial. If I don’t, my mind tends to drift back to stress and tension. Even small periods of calm amidst a hectic day are valuable. With practice, you start to notice how compulsive thinking feels unpleasant while you’re in it, making it easier to let go.
Of course, there’s a risk of grasping for the pleasant moments, which can be counterproductive. However, understanding that even this grasping is an unpleasant mental activity helps you let go and accept what’s happening.
Appreciation becomes an anchor in this process. Remember to use it.