The Buddha taught that we can replace unhelpful thoughts—those that cause unnecessary suffering—with more positive ones. He likened this to a carpenter using a smaller peg to push a larger one out of a hole. This idea is particularly useful in meditation and can be applied in several ways. One common method is using mantras, which can be spoken out loud or repeated silently in the mind. For instance, chanting “Om Mani Padme Hum” occupies mental space and helps dislodge worry, resentment, and self-doubt.
While chanting a mantra, you might not notice immediate effects, but afterward, you often feel calmer and more relaxed. This happens because you’ve given your brain and body a break from usual negative thought patterns. Sometimes, instead of traditional Sanskrit mantras, we use English phrases. These can be very effective if they focus on our experiences.
One set of phrases I often use is: “Soft Eyes, Open Field of Attention; Kind Eyes, Meeting Everything With Tenderness.” Let me explain how and why I use them.
“Soft Eyes”: In my teachings over the past decade, I usually start guided meditations by advising people to soften their eyes. This means relaxing the muscles around the eyes and letting your focus be gentle. Try it now: look away from the screen, relax your eyes, and you’ll likely feel more relaxed quickly. Our minds are often in a heightened state, looking for problems due to the “fight or flight” reflex controlled by the sympathetic nervous system. This usually involves our eyes being tightly focused and constantly moving.
Relaxing the eyes activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms and relaxes us. Even in meditation, tight eyes make the mind restless and problem-solving. With relaxed eyes, the mind feels safer and less restless, leading to fewer distractions. So, “Soft Eyes” is a reminder to relax your eyes.
“Open Field of Attention”: Tight eyes and a narrow focus often make us fixate on a small visual field, which continues when we close our eyes for meditation. I’ve asked meditators to outline what they’re observing during “mindfulness of breathing,” and they often indicate a small area, leading to distraction. Relaxed eyes broaden our field of attention, allowing us to sense many breathing sensations at once, making it easier to stay focused and less distracted.
“Kind Eyes”: This phrase introduces kindness into our present experience. We can recall a time we looked with love at someone or something and let our eyes become kind. Over time, we can simply remember how it feels to have kind eyes without accessing specific memories, and this adds warmth and patience to our attention.
“Meeting Everything With Tenderness”: Just as relaxed eyes widen our attention field, kind eyes bring warmth and compassion. This helps us approach distractions, feelings, and even pain with kindness. Saying “meeting everything with tenderness” reminds us to fully embrace kindness.
I pace these phrases with my breathing, saying one on an out-breath and then observing the experience for a couple of breaths before moving to the next phrase. This balance helps us stay present without getting lost in constant thoughts.
If I’m particularly distracted, I might repeat the phrases more frequently, even on every breath. When things are going well, I might reduce the frequency or not say the phrases at all, simply doing what they describe. This adaptability is crucial.
Occasionally, I change the phrases slightly, like “soft eyes, body alive” instead of “soft eyes, open field of attention,” or “meeting everything with love” instead of “meeting everything with tenderness.” The core idea remains the same: consciously using thoughts to direct attention and quiet the mind.
Feel free to experiment with this approach and find what works best for you.