The Buddha taught that we can replace unhelpful thoughts, which cause unnecessary suffering, with more positive ones. It’s similar to how a carpenter uses a smaller peg to push out a larger one from a hole. This method is particularly useful in meditation and can be applied in various ways, such as using mantras. For instance, chanting “Om Mani Padme Hum” can occupy the mind, leaving less room for negative thoughts like worry or self-doubt. Even if it doesn’t seem like much is happening during the chanting, you’ll often feel calmer and more relaxed afterward, as it gives your brain a break from its usual patterns.
Sometimes, instead of traditional mantras, using simple English phrases can be highly effective. These phrases are particularly useful when they focus on our experience. One set of phrases I frequently use is: “Soft Eyes, Open Field of Attention; Kind Eyes, Meeting Everything With Tenderness.” Now, let me explain how and why these specific phrases are beneficial.
“Soft Eyes”: I often start my guided meditations by asking participants to soften their eyes. This means relaxing the muscles around your eyes and allowing your focus to soften. You can try this right now by looking away from the screen. You’ll likely find it instantly relaxing, which helps calm your mind quickly. Our minds are often in a state of alertness, constantly searching for problems, driven by the sympathetic nervous system responsible for the “fight or flight” response. This state often involves tight, restless eyes.
When you soften your eyes, you activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps bring your body back to a state of calmness and relaxation. When your eyes are tense, even in meditation, your mind continues to problem-solve, leading to distraction. Soft eyes help your mind feel safer and less restless, reducing the need for constant problem-solving and thus, less distraction.
“Open Field of Attention”: Our everyday tightness in the eyes leads to a narrow focus, even when our eyes are closed in meditation. I’ve often asked meditators to describe what they’re observing during mindfulness of breathing. Most, due to tight eyes and narrow focus, indicate a very small area, making it hard for the mind to stay engaged without getting distracted. Soft eyes allow our inner attention to be more expansive and receptive, enabling us to be aware of multiple sensations at once. This richer experience is more engaging and less distracting.
“Kind Eyes”: Bringing kindness into our attention can be a powerful experience. We can recall a moment when we looked at someone or something with love and let that memory make our eyes kind in the present. Eventually, we won’t need the memory; we can directly experience kind eyes. Saying “kind eyes” helps direct our attention back to this state of kindness.
“Meeting Everything With Tenderness”: Just as soft eyes lead to an open field of attention, kind eyes help us interact with our experiences with warmth and acceptance. We can approach distractions, feelings, and even pain with tenderness, enriching our emotional experience during meditation.
I often use my breathing to pace how I repeat these phrases, which balances speaking and listening. Saying the phrases directs attention to different parts of our experience: softening the eyes, noticing the richness of our open field of attention, and bringing kindness into our entire being. However, if we constantly talk to ourselves, we might miss out on deeply experiencing these sensations. Hence, I say a phrase on an out-breath and observe the experience for a few breaths before saying the next phrase. This method helps me stay focused and limits distraction.
If I become particularly distractible, I might shorten the interval between phrases. Conversely, if I’m deeply immersed, I might reduce the frequency or even stop saying the phrases altogether, just embodying what they describe. This flexibility allows me to adapt to changing conditions.
Sometimes, I also tweak the phrases. For example, instead of “soft eyes, open field of attention,” I might say “soft eyes, body alive,” which directs attention toward the body’s sensations more explicitly. Instead of “meeting everything with tenderness,” I might say “meeting everything with love.”
Although some might think thinking should be avoided in meditation, it can actually be a useful tool. Thought can guide our attention to our sensory experiences, helping to quiet the mind. Feel free to experiment with these tools and find out what works best for you.