Ananda, who was the Buddha’s cousin, once asked him about the benefits of living skillfully. The Buddha explained that living skillfully helps you avoid remorse, leading to joy. This joy then allows your mind to concentrate better, which eventually brings insight. This progression is a key part of Buddhist practice, starting with learning how to live skillfully.
The term “skillful” (known as kusala in Pali) is interesting because the Buddha didn’t just talk about actions as “good” or “bad,” even though he certainly could have. Instead, he described actions as either skillful or unskillful. This might sound a bit unusual for discussing morality or ethics, as if it’s some kind of trick we need to master. So, let’s explore what he meant by skillful actions.
Think of “skill” as actions that achieve a certain aim. A skilled writer, for example, can persuade or entertain readers effectively, which is their goal. Simply wanting to write well isn’t enough—it must be learned through practice and studying accomplished writers. Similarly, an unskilled writer may have good intentions but can’t execute them well.
Now, how does this apply to spirituality? We all want peace of mind, happiness, and well-being deep down. But do we know how to create these feelings? Much like learning to write well, achieving these aims in life involves trial and error, as well as learning from others who excel in living well.
What holds us back from peace of mind? Often, it’s our own tendencies. We have both skillful tendencies (like compassion, kindness, and mindfulness) and unskillful ones (like self-centeredness and aversion to discomfort). Both sets of impulses aim to keep us happy, but the unskillful ones often lead to suffering. We react poorly, and this reaction causes more suffering.
Unskillful impulses can appear helpful but usually are not. So, learning through trial and error involves realizing that reactive, unskillful impulses don’t bring happiness. Only living mindfully and kindly does.
This learning process is crucial because our unskillful impulses evolved to protect us. For instance, acting unpleasantly towards someone who annoys us is an instinct from millions of years ago. If you’re a lizard, a threatening display can chase away an intruder. But in human relationships, this behavior creates conflict and pain.
Our skillful qualities are also rooted in our biology. As mammals, we value love and connection. For example, newborn babies need to be held, and monkeys groom each other to form social bonds. We’ve evolved to be empathetic—studies show even mice experience distress when they see others suffering. Scientists have seen rats helping each other escape traps. Empathy is built into mammalian brains.
However, another part of our mammalian nature is the urge to establish our position in a social hierarchy, which can lead to competition with friends and family. This conflicts with our need for connection and intimacy.
Humans also have a unique part of the brain called the neocortex, which is responsible for reason, reflection, and self-awareness. This allows us to evaluate our reactive instincts and our skillful tendencies. With the neocortex, we understand the disadvantages of unskillful reactions and the benefits of skillful ones. It helps us change our behavior, opting to let go of unskillful impulses and choose actions that are more skillful. By deciding to live skillfully, we choose a happier, more meaningful life.