Happiness is often the most suppressed emotion. If that surprises you, think about what happens during meditation: you notice when your mind starts wandering and then bring your focus back to your breathing or other sensory experiences. After a few minutes, you feel calmer and happier, or at least less troubled, which feels similar to being happier.
It’s not the act of breathing that makes us feel better. Much of our unhappiness comes from our own thoughts, which cause stress, anxiety, or irritation. When we let go of these thoughts, we stop making ourselves unhappy. Our constant, unchecked rumination suppresses our sense of well-being.
Another way we suppress our natural happiness is by ignoring the positive aspects of our lives. We often focus on what’s going wrong and overlook what’s going right. This is a cognitive distortion. When we start to acknowledge and appreciate the positive, we feel much happier. Psychologists say that gratitude and appreciation are key to happiness. For example, one study asked participants to write a letter of appreciation to someone who had helped them. Those who did this were noticeably happier a month later.
Other studies show that daily practices of listing things we’re grateful for can improve our happiness and health, even helping us sleep better. I experienced this firsthand a few months ago when I was feeling down. My girlfriend pointed out all the good things in my life: my beautiful apartment, wonderful kids, good friends, grateful acquaintances, and general health. This perspective shift significantly lifted my mood.
I recommend taking a moment to say “thank you” for the things going right in your life. You can say it out loud or clearly in your mind. If you’re struggling to find what’s going right, remember we often take many positives for granted. Here are some things to consider:
– You have a shelter.
– You can access the internet.
– You probably own devices with vast storage capacities that allow you to connect and gain information.
– You have electricity and water.
– There are services to dispose of waste hygienically.
– There is food in your home.
– Your furniture makes you wealthier than many in impoverished parts of the world.
– You have clean air to breathe.
– Paved roads are nearby.
– You live in a relatively safe area.
– Emergency services are available if needed.
– You are breathing, your heart is beating, and your body is mostly functional.
– Even if you have health issues, your body is trying to heal itself.
– Your senses function well enough for daily living.
– You are conscious and aware of both the external and internal world.
– You have the ability to learn and cultivate gratitude.
If you’ve sincerely considered these points, you’ll likely notice an improvement in your mood. Shifting focus from problems to positives can make a big difference.
Gratitude can turn what we have into a sense of abundance.
I’m not suggesting you ignore difficulties. Life has its challenges, and focusing only on them makes them harder to bear. There are also global issues that are concerning. However, if we remain depressed and despondent, we’re less capable of responding constructively to these challenges.