In the opening of his book “The Road Less Traveled,” the late psychiatrist M. Scott Peck pointedly states that life is difficult. He argues that recognizing and accepting this truth can help us transcend it, making life less difficult once we fully understand and accept this reality. While I agree with Peck’s notion, I would put it a bit differently: understanding and accepting life’s challenges can ease the burden they bring. The human condition becomes bearable when we acknowledge and accept the inevitability of suffering.
Here are a few suggestions to help you grasp this concept. Read each point slowly and carefully, giving yourself time to absorb and reflect on them based on your own experiences. Let go of any defensiveness or desire to seem perfect. Embrace your vulnerability and let go of the need to always appear successful. Allow yourself to be perfectly imperfect.
Spend at least a minute contemplating each thought, and perhaps a bit longer on the final one. The first four activities are designed to help you develop empathy for yourself, making you aware that you, like everyone else, need and deserve support. This empathetic self-awareness lays the foundation for self-kindness, with phrases like “May I be well. May I be at ease. May I be kind to myself and others” serving as expressions of self-support. By the fifth suggestion, you may find yourself genuinely wanting to offer kindness and encouragement to yourself.
These exercises help us connect with our vulnerability, which can be an uncomfortable experience. It’s common to feel heartache or sadness during this process. These reflections might uncover long-suppressed desires or emotions we’ve hidden out of fear or a sense of duty. Often, we spend our lives pretending we’re happier than we are, or that any suffering we experience is just a temporary setback. Accepting the harsh reality that suffering is a constant part of life and that we aren’t always in control can be daunting.
If feelings of sadness or heartache come up, it’s important to accept and be kind to those feelings. Their appearance is a good sign, indicating that we’re getting more in touch with the reality that life is difficult. Empathizing with ourselves and showing self-compassion are crucial steps toward accepting this reality, allowing us to release the fear that leads to denial.
These reflections guide us from a place of fear and denial to one of love and acceptance. Embracing our vulnerability not only helps us see the difficulties in life but also fosters empathy and self-kindness, making the human experience more bearable.