Sometimes we face major stress like financial issues, relationship problems, or job insecurity. But smaller situations can also pile up, adding to our stress. For me, parenting tasks can be quite stressful. Even simple things like getting the kids ready or answering their questions can make me snap at them when I’m feeling overwhelmed.
I’ve realized that these small tasks only become stressful when I’m multitasking. If the kids ask me something while I’m emailing a friend, I tend to react irritably. The same thing happens if I’m worrying about work finances; I end up snapping at the kids because my brain perceives their requests as an additional threat.
There are moments when multitasking is unavoidable, like when I’m cooking. I’m often juggling stirring pots, chopping ingredients, and watching the clock. Adding another task, even something minor like replying to a text, can spike my stress. Include a question from one of the kids, and my stress levels shoot up even more.
Our brains aren’t built for multitasking. When we try, something suffers, often our emotional regulation. We end up reacting aggressively and feeling frazzled and overwhelmed. Multitasking triggers a “danger” response in our brains, making us feel overburdened. By reducing our mental load, we can stay calmer and more reasonable.
To manage stress, I’ve found it’s crucial not to multitask. Instead, I focus on one thing at a time. A text message while I’m cooking can wait a few minutes. When I’m writing an email and my kids ask something, I stop and focus on them. This prevents the emotional tension that comes with trying to juggle multiple tasks. Sometimes, I silence my phone to work uninterrupted, and I do the same at home to engage better with my kids. Focusing entirely on the task at hand helps keep my mind clear and reduces stress.
To combat multitasking, we first need to recognize how often we do it. It’s about being aware and making a conscious effort to change. We’re not aiming for perfection since some multitasking is unavoidable, like cooking while talking to family. But we can improve by staying present in our activities, avoiding the urge to add another task, and minimizing distractions like notifications.
Taking a few mindful breaths between activities can also help. After sending an email, take a few breaths before picking up the phone for the next task. Contrary to what you might think, this can actually make you more efficient. Research shows that people who avoid multitasking are up to 40% more efficient.
This weekend, we have a stress reduction retreat with workshops, talks, discussions, and guided meditations. There will be time to relax and explore in the beautiful Aryaloka Buddhist Center in Newmarket, New Hampshire. The retreat is residential, with vegetarian meals and two-person room accommodations. Some parts of the retreat will be in silence to help you focus and unwind. The retreat starts at 6:00 PM on Friday and ends at 1:00 PM on Sunday.