One of Buddha’s most important teachings is the Four Noble Truths. These truths tell us that 1) suffering is a part of life, 2) it happens because we cling to things, 3) we can reach a state where we no longer suffer, known as nirvana, and 4) there are practices to help us achieve that state.
These truths suggest that instead of trying to avoid suffering, we need to learn how to handle it better. Life is full of challenges, and it’s about managing them in a way that doesn’t add more suffering. Here are some suggestions to help you cope better with suffering:
If we think life will always be blissful, we’re bound to be disappointed, which is another form of suffering. Trying to avoid suffering entirely makes us feel like failures when it inevitably happens.
Social media can make us feel like others are happier than us, as people often only share the highlights of their lives. Messages like “happiness is a choice” can make us feel we are failing if we aren’t constantly happy. But, suffering is a universal experience. It’s part of being alive, not a sign of personal failure.
When people think of suffering, they often imagine severe issues like cancer or starvation. While these are serious, they are thankfully rare. Most of our suffering comes from daily frustrations, worries, and disappointments. Recognizing these smaller pains is important because ignoring them allows suffering to persist unnoticed. So, when feeling frustrated or worried, acknowledge that you are suffering.
It is natural to want to escape suffering by seeking more pleasant experiences. While this might work short-term, it builds a habit of avoiding discomfort, which leads to more suffering. The real path away from suffering is through it. Face painful experiences with mindfulness and calmness. By doing so, you learn that suffering does not define you.
We often feel our suffering is part of us, but it’s more like reflections of clouds in a lake – they pass and aren’t part of the lake itself. By mindfully experiencing suffering, we can observe it as something separate from ourselves, making it feel lighter and more bearable.
Painful experiences are designed to grab our attention, usually to alert us to potential threats. Often, we overreact to these feelings, treating minor issues as life-threatening. Understanding that feelings are just signals from the nervous system helps manage them better.
Thoughts heavily influence our feelings, and vice versa. When we’re anxious, we hunt for things to worry about. Mindfulness helps break this loop by making us aware of how our thoughts create our feelings. This awareness allows us to respond differently to whatever’s troubling us.
By practicing mindfulness, we see how we construct our feelings of suffering. We have internal rules about what counts as a threat. Recognizing these rules allows us to reframe situations realistically and compassionately.
Treat your own suffering as you would a friend’s — with empathy, support, kindness, and compassion. Give yourself the same understanding and reassurance.
Reflect on past sufferings that no longer bother you. This shows that feelings are temporary and change over time. Observing this helps you take feelings less seriously and not overreact to them.
Viewing suffering closely, we often find it’s not a solid reality but fleeting sensations. Observing this helps us see through the mental trick that makes suffering seem more real than it is.
Buddha’s teaching about ending suffering isn’t about preventing bad things from happening or never experiencing suffering. It’s about understanding that suffering is an illusion created by the mind. By observing our experiences with compassion and awareness of their temporary nature, we learn that suffering doesn’t have to control us.