The Buddha’s cousin, Ananda, once asked him about the benefits of living skillfully. The Buddha explained that living skillfully leads to freedom from remorse, which brings joy. This joy allows the mind to become more focused, leading to insight. This is the path followed in Buddhist practice, and it all starts with learning to live skillfully.
When the Buddha used the word “skillful” (which is “kusala” in Pali), he chose an interesting term. Rather than talking about actions being “good” or “bad,” he spoke about acting skillfully or unskillfully. This choice of words might seem unusual when discussing morality or ethics, so let’s delve deeper into its meaning.
Think of “skill” as actions that achieve a specific goal. A skilled writer aims to persuade or entertain and succeeds in doing so. Just having the intent isn’t enough; writing well is a craft that must be learned through trial and error, as well as studying skilled writers. An unskilled writer may have the same goals but lacks the ability to achieve them.
How does this relate to spirituality? We all aim to find peace of mind, happiness, and well-being. But do we possess the skill to achieve these goals? Like a writer perfecting their craft, reaching these aims requires approaching life intelligently through trial and error, while learning from the examples and guidance of those who’ve succeeded in living well.
What often hinders us from finding peace of mind are our own actions. We have both skillful tendencies (like compassion and mindfulness) and unskillful ones (like self-centeredness and aversion to discomfort). While both set out to keep us happy, unskillful tendencies often result in suffering. Our reactions cause us pain.
Unskillful instincts often masquerade as beneficial but typically aren’t. Our learning process involves recognizing that these reactive impulses don’t lead to happiness, whereas a life based on mindfulness and kindness does. This requires effort because our unskillful impulses evolved as protective mechanisms.
For instance, reacting unpleasantly to someone who annoys us is an ancient instinct, originating millions of years ago. A lizard might chase away a threat to protect itself. But with humans, hostility towards colleagues or family members only leads to conflict and pain. Our so-called “protective” instincts can end up harming us.
Our more skillful traits also have roots in evolutionary biology. As mammals, we value love and connection; newborns need to be held, and monkeys groom each other to form social bonds. Empathy is inherent in our mammalian brains. Mice show distress at the suffering of their peers, and scientists have seen rats trying to rescue each other.
Yet, another aspect of our mammalian conditioning involves establishing our place in a social hierarchy, which can lead to competition, even with loved ones. This behavior conflicts with our need for warmth and connection.
The most recently evolved part of our brains, the neocortex, is uniquely human. It is responsible for reason, reflection, and self-awareness. This allows us to evaluate our reactive and creative instincts, recognizing the benefits of the latter. We can change our behavior, letting go of unskillful impulses in favor of skillful ones. By choosing to live skillfully, we choose a more authentically human, happier, and meaningful life.