Are spiritual goals dangerous because they could trigger grasping and selfish desires? Should we let go of goals to achieve true freedom and happiness? Sunada doesn’t think so. She believes that the problem isn’t the goals themselves but how we approach them.
We all turn to spiritual life with certain goals in mind, like wanting a calmer mind, reducing anxiety, or becoming a kinder person. These reasons are entirely valid for starting spiritual practice. However, at some point, we hit a barrier where trying to achieve these goals leads to self-doubt and frustration.
Having goals isn’t inherently wrong. Even the Buddha worked diligently towards enlightenment. But how do we pursue these goals without falling into the trap of frustration?
A wise saying from Yoda comes to mind. Initially, it seemed like a parody of wisdom, but over time, Sunada found it profoundly true. She shared her experience with the Metta Bhavana meditation, which focuses on developing loving-kindness. Although it was challenging and she often felt nothing, she persisted because she believed it would eventually help her open up a heart closed off by years of depression.
Whenever we try to achieve something we think is out of reach, it feels forced and unattainable. During her meditation practices, Sunada’s teachers encouraged her to recall kind thoughts and wish people well. However, she often felt blank and gray, and forcing herself to feel happier didn’t work either. Despite her struggles, she continued with encouragement from others.
Eventually, a shift in perspective occurred. Sunada began her meditation sessions with a body scan, focusing on relaxation. Imagining a sense of physical contentment helped her feel genuinely present and happy. She realized that being present and content didn’t mean eliminating her problems; it meant they didn’t weigh on her in that moment. This feeling made it easier to proceed with the Metta Bhavana practice, wrapping herself in warm feelings of kindness.
By connecting with genuine contentment, moving through the stages of Metta practice became easier. Feeling positive about herself naturally led to kind feelings towards others. This technique worked even on difficult days when she felt angry or depressed. Starting with relaxation and self-acceptance helped lift her out of negative self-absorption.
Through this experience, Sunada understood that metta is always within her, irrespective of her mood. It’s about patient acceptance of whatever is present. This realization parallels personal development. Trying to reach distant goals feels forced. Instead, recognizing and nurturing small seeds of desired qualities within us can make the process natural and effortless.
Doubters might wonder if they possess these qualities. According to the Buddha’s teachings, everyone has the potential for wisdom and compassion. Self-doubt often blinds us to these seeds. Rather than striving to become better, we should look for ways to encourage the qualities we already have. By setting conditions such as good physical health and self-kindness, we help these qualities flourish.
The key is how we view our goals. Are we chasing something distant while neglecting our present experience? Or are we aspiring towards higher ideals while appreciating and nurturing ourselves now? This shift in mindset makes all the difference, setting the tone for the future we create.
So, instead of struggling to become a better person, look for existing qualities and trust they are there. Encourage these qualities to grow by being kind to yourself. This way, positive attributes can’t help but emerge and strengthen.
The way we frame our goals can either trigger feelings of lack or foster a sense of abundance and blessing. Changing our mindset sets the tone for our personal growth journey, helping us create a positive future.