We’re rightly concerned about “Fake News”—fabricated stories created to influence political choices or simply to sell online advertising. But our thoughts can be like “fake news” too, having powerful effects on us. Much of what we think isn’t true, especially those thoughts that make us anxious, panicked, or depressed.
Our minds create stories, turning fragments of information into narratives. Sometimes these stories are true and helpful—like when our ancestors realized that a particular berry caused stomach cramps, which could be a life-saving insight.
However, we often create stories that are neither true nor useful. For example, when we’re in pain, feeling sick, or are emotionally low, we tend to believe these feelings will last forever or worsen. We might think nobody cares about us. These thoughts add a needless layer of suffering on top of the existing pain, hence the expression, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”
The problem is that we believe these thoughts without question, much like gullible news-consumers. But by practicing mindfulness, we can learn to be more skeptical. We can start noticing which thoughts are true and whether they are helping us. A good rule of thumb is to see what effect your thoughts have on your emotions.
Do your thoughts bring joy, connection, and engagement? Or do they make you feel small, powerless, or trigger a cycle of anxiety, depression, or anger? Observing the area around the heart and solar plexus is useful since these spots are where we typically experience emotions. When we talk about noticing feelings, we mean observing bodily sensations. Often, when asked how they feel, people might say, “I feel like a loser.” But “like a loser” is a thought, not a feeling. The actual feeling might be despondency or sadness. Name what you feel and let go of the thoughts associated with it.
If you notice a thought making you unhappy, use it as a signal to question whether it’s true. Ask yourself, “Is this thought true?” Often, the immediate response is, “Yes, of course it’s true!” But dig deeper and ask, “Is this absolutely true?” This second question usually helps uncover exceptions and counter-examples to the story you’ve been telling yourself, making it easier to let go of unhelpful thought patterns.
Another useful question is, “What would it be like if I didn’t have this thought?” This can help you envision a state of mind free from the burdensome narrative you created, opening the door to change.
For example, you might think, “Nobody likes me. I’m always going to be lonely.” Notice that this thought creates unpleasant feelings. Ask, “Is this true?” and initially, the response might be “Yes!” But then ask, “Is this absolutely true?” You might realize, “Well, I do have friends and coworkers I get along with.” This realization lessens the hold of your suffering-inducing thoughts. Ask, “What would it be like not to have this thought?” You might find, “I’d feel less fearful about whether people like me, maybe more confident and stronger.”
By questioning your thoughts, you start stepping out of the mental traps you’ve set for yourself, opening up to new possibilities. It’s essential to internalize that “Not all of my thoughts are true or helpful.” Becoming more skeptical about your thinking helps you see how often your mind exaggerates or lies, creating stories that cause unnecessary stress.