It’s early January, and many people who made New Year’s resolutions are already finding themselves backsliding. They might have missed a morning workout, indulged in unhealthy food, or skipped their meditation session.
Changing habits is really tough. I’m particularly interested in daily meditation, and it’s something I managed to stick with a long time ago. My main goal now is to help others establish this habit too. It wasn’t easy for me at first, but I eventually had a breakthrough, and I’ve shared it with others who found it helpful.
This breakthrough isn’t a single tip; it’s about building a set of tools and strategies that support daily meditation. Importantly, none of these tools rely on willpower, which is actually not that useful. Studies show that even a six-week course on self-control doesn’t help people change habits and can leave them feeling emotionally drained. People who seem to have good self-control simply avoid situations where they would be tempted, like avoiding walking past a donut shop or placing their alarm clock across the room.
The idea that you can change a habit just by wanting it badly enough is flawed. For example, imagine trying to make a boulder float by praying—it’s just not going to happen. You need to do specific things to make changes.
Here are some key points for building a daily meditation habit:
1. Start Small.
Often, people attend a meditation class and are told to meditate for 30 or 40 minutes daily, but integrating this into a busy life is daunting. Instead, aim for just five minutes a day. Everyone can find five minutes, whether in a bathroom stall at work, after reading a bedtime story to your child, or during your commute.
2. Focus on Building the Habit.
Five minutes might not seem like much, but it helps create a sustainable habit. Once you’re consistent with five minutes, it becomes easier to extend this to longer periods, eventually transforming your day and life.
3. Define Your Day.
Consider a “day” as the time between waking up and going to sleep, not the 24 hours from midnight to midnight. This way, if you go to bed past midnight and remember you haven’t meditated, you can still fit it in before you sleep.
4. Plan and Be Intentional.
Simply thinking it would be nice to meditate daily isn’t enough. You have to plan it. Decide when and where you will meditate and for how long. Use guided meditations if needed and plan with someone else, even over a Zoom call. Without planning, you’ll likely forget or miss your meditation.
5. Have a Plan B.
Life happens. Your morning plan can be disrupted by a sick child, a work emergency, or a malfunctioning alarm. Always have a backup plan for when things don’t go as expected.
6. Reinforce Your Identity.
Use affirmations like, “I meditate every day. It’s part of who I am.” Saying this helps shift your identity and makes it easier to stick to your habit, even during tough times.
Even though I meditate daily, I’ve missed days too. When I do, I don’t see it as a failure but a learning opportunity. I reflect on what went wrong and how to avoid it in the future.
To be more successful, it’s helpful to have community support. This can be a powerful motivator and provide additional strategies to keep you on track.
If you’re interested in more tips and encouragement, I offer an online course called “Get Your Sit Together,” which you can join. There’s also a four-week live course through the New York Insight Meditation Center that provides community support, which is crucial to sticking with the habit.
Planning, intention, and support from others are key components to successfully meditating daily.