I used to have a hard time falling asleep at night. Sometimes my mind would be racing with thoughts, often about worries. Other times, I couldn’t pinpoint any specific thoughts, but sleep just wouldn’t come. The worst was when I really wanted to sleep, and just as I started to drift off, I’d get excited by dream images and wake up again.
But that’s all in the past. Now, I usually fall asleep within minutes—even seconds—of my head touching the pillow. I’ve gathered a toolkit of techniques to help me switch off the kind of mental activity that leads to insomnia.
First, mindfulness helps a lot. It reduces mind-wandering and helps you recognize when your thoughts are unhelpful. For example, you might notice that anxious thoughts are keeping you awake. When you spot these thoughts, you can let them go. Instead, focus on your body. Paying attention to your body’s sensations can have a calming effect because it leaves less mental space for anxious thoughts. The steady rhythm of your breathing can also be soothing.
You can try a full-body scan, starting from your toes and simply being aware of all the sensations. Even if you feel something uncomfortable, like anxiety in your gut, mindfulness helps you accept it without reacting. Normally, feeling anxious makes your mind race, but mindfulness breaks this cycle, helping you relax and eventually fall asleep.
Another approach is to focus on your breathing. Anxiety tends to focus your attention on your thoughts and can make your breathing shallow and rapid, mostly in your chest. By focusing on the rise and fall of your belly, you bring attention down from your head and thoughts. This not only calms you but also activates your parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and sleep.
If you’re physically restless, paying attention to the weight of your body pressing into the mattress can help. I often imagine my body becoming heavier and heavier, like gravity is pinning me to the bed. This sense of weight promotes surrender and physical stillness, which aids in falling asleep.
Sometimes, our minds are filled with stimulating thoughts or images. One way to counteract this is to visualize something soothing and a bit boring. I like imagining rain pattering on woodland leaves. This is calming because it involves nature and the color green, which is soothing and not stimulating.
If my mind is chatting away, whether from anxiety or excitement, I find that slowing my inner speech helps. By making my self-talk slow and deep, I often bore myself to sleep.
There’s also a connection between our physiological states and how we use our eyes. When we’re relaxed and daydreaming, our eyes tend to stare into space without focusing. Conversely, narrow focus and tense eye muscles make us alert or anxious. By relaxing your eyes, even with them closed, you promote overall relaxation and slower, deeper breathing.
Negativity can also keep us awake—whether from worrying, judging, irritability, or other negative emotions. This can create a cycle where we become anxious about not sleeping. One simple way to break this cycle is by recalling moments of kindness or affection. Imagine looking at a baby or a pet with love and then turn that same kindness towards yourself. This emotional shift can make it easier to fall asleep.
You can combine these techniques. For example, adopt a loving gaze while being aware of your body’s weight, or relax your eyes while focusing on your belly breathing. Experiment to see what works best for you, and be patient. Training your mind to fall asleep takes practice, but it gets easier over time.