Buddhist meditation was originally practiced mainly by celibate monks and nuns who were not allowed to have any physical contact with the opposite sex. However, mindfulness practice can greatly improve your love life—not just sexually, but in every aspect with someone you are intimately connected with.
Mindfulness helps us to be truly present with our partners. Often, we are physically with someone but mentally elsewhere, like the modern trend of couples sitting together yet being engrossed in their phones. Simply being present for each other is crucial for genuine intimacy.
Listening is another key component. Typically, during conversations, we’re often more focused on our own thoughts than on truly hearing the other person. Mindfulness helps us to realize when we’re distracted and brings us back to the present moment, which enhances communication and authenticity.
We also tend to label our partners with terms like “stubborn” or “selfish,” which become mental traps and prevent real connection. Mindfulness allows us to see these labels as unhelpful stories, so we can stay in the moment and engage more genuinely.
Being mindful also keeps us in tune with our bodies, making us more aware of our physical sensations, which are tied to our emotions. Studies have shown that meditators are more attuned to their body’s sensations than even professional dancers. This awareness is particularly significant because feelings of love are often connected with the vagus nerve, which runs near the heart. This nerve becomes more active with practices like lovingkindness or compassion meditation, strengthening those feelings.
By focusing on your partner rather than your own thoughts, mindfulness helps you notice subtle “micro-expressions” on their face, revealing their true emotions. This ability to sense underlying feelings allows for greater empathy. For example, if your partner hesitantly agrees to a plan and you notice it, you can encourage them to express their true feelings, creating a deeper connection.
Practicing lovingkindness, or just “kindness,” helps us realize that others’ feelings are just as important as our own. Kind behaviors ensure we act in ways that respect their feelings. Unfortunately, we often forget to be kind in our closest relationships, resorting to sarcasm or criticism. The practice of lovingkindness helps us avoid such damaging behaviors and promotes making our partner feel loved and appreciated.
All these practices—being in the moment, attentive, aware of the body, in touch with emotions, kind, and empathetic—also lead to better sex. Research shows that women who practice mindfulness become more aware of their physiological sexual responses and find them more arousing.
In summary, mindfulness meditation can greatly enrich your relationship by promoting presence, communication, empathy, and mutual respect, all of which contribute to a more fulfilling love life.
If you’re interested in improving your relationship, consider meditation—it’s helped me be more present and sensitive to my wife’s needs, enriching our relationship on many levels.