In a series of six posts, I explain, using teachings from early Buddhist scriptures, how we can free ourselves from addiction to social media. These teachings are found in the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which outlines five strategies for overcoming compelling trains of thought and the urges that accompany them.
The Buddha advises us to work through these tools in order. If redirecting the mind to what’s positive doesn’t work, then we try seeing the drawbacks of addiction. If that doesn’t work, the next tool is to “ignore and forget” whatever it is we’re obsessed with. This is the tool we’re exploring today.
The discourse suggests that if bad, unskillful thoughts connected with desire, hate, and delusion keep coming up, we should ignore and forget about them. This might seem easier said than done and the illustration of this principle isn’t very helpful either. It’s like a person with good eyesight closing their eyes or looking away from undesirable sights. While it may sound simplistic, it’s practical advice about reducing temptation.
We’ll explore this in two areas. First, regarding external activity, we can literally ignore and look away from social media by changing our habits. Second, in terms of internal activity, we’ll look at how we relate to our experience and how small shifts in how we notice our experience can transform our well-being.
For managing your attention, you could start by changing habits around temptations. For instance, if you want to lose weight, not having potato chips in the house helps. Out of sight is out of mind. Apply this to online addictions too. Our phones, being multi-functional and constantly with us, always tempt us.
Try moving social media apps to the second or third screen of your phone, so accessing them requires more effort. Turn off those red notification badges, as red is an emotionally activating color. Turn off audible notifications so social media doesn’t interrupt you. This gives you control over when you check those apps.
Consider keeping your phone out of sight at times, like charging it in another room at night. Charging it away from your bedside helps you avoid starting your day with social media. Use an alarm clock instead of your phone to wake up if you need to know the time.
Turning off your phone while charging it overnight creates a barrier to immediate internet access. This can help you avoid addiction. For example, I find that keeping my phone in the living room makes me more likely to meditate or read first thing in the morning instead of going online. Reading helps train the mind for concentration better than short online articles.
Create other opportunities for phone-free time. Muting your phone during meals with family or friends, or leaving it in another room, can help. In some meditation retreats, you might hand in your phone for the duration, or keep it in your car or in a sealed envelope with an encouraging message.
Internally, there’s a deeper practice to avoid getting caught up in thoughts about our addictions. There are two ways to use your eyes. Normally, we concentrate on what’s right in front of us, similar to a flashlight beam. An alternative way is to be aware of the entire visual field. Relaxing the eyes creates an open gaze like a lamp, illuminating many things. This broader awareness can also relax the body and calm the mind.
In meditation, a narrow focus can lead to being easily distracted by thoughts. But with a soft, open gaze, we can become aware of many sensations in the body, and thoughts can pass through the mind without us getting caught up in them.
This technique helps in ordinary activities. When a thought or urge to check social media arises, maintaining an open gaze can make it easier to let the thought pass without acting on it. This is similar to “urge surfing,” where urges rise like waves and then subside. Observing them without giving in makes them pass away, making it easier to focus on other activities.
Today, we’ve learned how strategically ignoring temptations and using an open gaze can help us avoid getting hooked on social media. Small changes in how we relate to our devices and our attention can free us from addictive patterns of thought and behavior.