In this series of six posts, I’ll explain using teachings from early Buddhist scriptures how we can break free from addiction to social media. These teachings are found in the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which presents five strategies for overcoming intrusive thoughts and urges.
One key point is that the Buddha advises us to use these tools in a specific order. If trying to redirect our mind to positive thoughts doesn’t work, we should then focus on the drawbacks of addiction. If that fails, the next tool is to “ignore and forget” whatever we’re obsessed with, which is the focus of today’s discussion.
The discourse on this tool is brief. It suggests that if bad, unskillful thoughts related to desire, hate, or delusion keep arising, we should ignore and forget them. You might think this sounds easier said than done.
To illustrate, consider someone with good eyesight who comes across undesirable sights. They would simply close their eyes or look away. This principle, while seemingly simplistic, is actually very practical when applied to reducing temptation.
We’ll explore this in two areas: external activity and internal experience. First, let’s discuss how to physically ignore and turn away from social media by changing habits. Then, we’ll delve into how we relate to our experiences and how this can profoundly impact our sense of well-being.
Here’s some practical advice:
If you’re trying to lose weight and have a weakness for potato chips, keeping them out of sight will reduce your temptation. Similarly, to manage social media use, move your social media apps from the main screen of your phone to secondary screens. Turn off notifications to prevent apps from constantly vying for your attention.
It’s also helpful to keep your phone out of sight periodically. Avoid charging your phone beside your bed so it’s not the first thing you reach for in the morning. Use an alarm clock instead to wake up. Charge your phone in another room overnight to start the day free from addiction.
Another tip is to turn off your phone while it’s charging overnight to create a barrier between you and the internet, leveraging our natural laziness to avoid addiction.
Having phone-free time during meals with family or friends can also be beneficial. Some suggest placing phones in a pile at the table and imposing a penalty for anyone who touches their phone during the meal.
Meditation retreats offer an excellent opportunity to disconnect. If handing in your phone isn’t required, leave it in your car or suitcase, or even in a sealed envelope with a motivational message to resist the urge to use it.
Internally, how we pay attention is crucial. Typically, we focus narrowly on specific visual points, like a flashlight beam, missing a lot. Alternatively, we can soften our gaze, similar to a lamp, being aware of the entire visual field, which is less directional and more open.
Applying this soft focus can also enhance meditation. When the eyes are tight, our attention is narrow, leading us to focus on limited sensations and often getting distracted by thoughts. A soft gaze allows us to notice many bodily sensations and the whole breath, preventing us from getting lost in thoughts.
This helps us ignore and forget compelling thoughts. Practicing a soft gaze during daily activities allows thoughts and urges, such as the impulse to check social media, to arise and pass away without acting on them.
This approach resembles “urge surfing,” where we acknowledge that urges rise and fall, peaking before dissipating. Observing rather than acting on these urges helps us maintain focus on our current task.
In summary, by physically and mentally changing our focus, we can reduce social media distractions. Strategies include:
– Modifying phone settings and placement
– Having designated phone-free times
– Practicing a relaxed visual focus
All these methods help create periods of addiction-free reality. We can train ourselves to let go and move past addictive thoughts, ultimately freeing ourselves from compulsive social media use.