In a series of six posts, I explain how we can free ourselves from addiction to social media using teachings from the early Buddhist scriptures. These teachings are found in the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which outlines five strategies for overcoming compelling trains of thought and the urges that accompany them.
One important thing to note is that the Buddha advises working through these tools in order. If redirecting the mind to positive thoughts doesn’t work, we then try seeing the drawbacks of addiction. If that still doesn’t help, the next tool involves simply “ignoring and forgetting” whatever it is we’re obsessed with. That’s what we’ll explore today.
The discourse on this particular tool is brief, stating that if bad, unskillful thoughts related to desire, hate, and delusion keep arising in the mind, we should ignore and forget about them. You might think, “easier said than done,” but it’s practical advice once you delve into it.
The idea boils down to reducing temptation. We’ll explore this in two areas: external activity and internal activity. First, by changing our habits, we can literally ignore and look away from social media. For instance, consider wanting to lose weight but having a weakness for potato chips. If you keep a big bag at home, you’re more likely to indulge. The principle of “out of sight, out of mind” applies here and can be useful for managing social media addiction as well.
When it comes to our devices, we often keep social media apps on the main screen because we use them frequently. However, try moving those apps to the second or third screen so accessing them requires more effort. Turn off notification badges and audible alerts to minimize interruptions. This way, you control when you check these apps, rather than them dictating your attention.
One of the best steps you can take is to keep your phone out of sight and mind at night. Don’t charge it beside your bed; instead, use an old-fashioned alarm clock. This will help you start your day without immediately diving into social media, setting a positive tone for the rest of the day.
Turning off your phone while it charges overnight also makes it less tempting to use first thing in the morning, as the process of booting it up creates a barrier. You might instead find yourself meditating or reading a book, which are much healthier habits to start the day.
During meals with family or friends, mute your phone or put it away. Some people place their phones in a pile at restaurants, and whoever touches their phone first has to pay for everyone’s meal. This is a great way to encourage real interactions.
Meditation retreats offer excellent opportunities to disconnect from social media. Some retreats require you to hand in your phone, but if not, consider leaving it in your car or at the bottom of your suitcase, perhaps even sealed in an envelope with a motivational message to yourself.
Externally, these simple changes help limit our social media usage, but internally, there’s more we can do. Our way of seeing affects our mental state. Normally, we focus on specific points in our visual field, much like a flashlight. However, by relaxing our eyes and adopting a broader focus, similar to a lamp, we can create a more open and less focused awareness. This relaxed gaze helps calm the mind and body.
In meditation, this broader awareness allows us to become mindful of all bodily sensations, reducing the tight focus that often leads to distraction by thoughts. When an urge to check social media arises, adopting this relaxed gaze can help us let the thought pass without acting on it.
This approach is akin to “urge surfing,” where we observe urges rise and fall without succumbing to them. By maintaining a soft, open gaze, we create a mental space where thoughts and impulses can exist without overpowering us.
To sum up, we can reduce social media distractions by:
– Changing where and how we access our devices.
– Adopting new habits like using an alarm clock instead of our phones.
– Keeping our phones out of sight during personal interactions.
– Practicing mindfulness and altering our visual focus to manage internal urges.
These strategies help create moments free from addiction, allowing us to ignore and forget the thoughts and impulses that keep us hooked on social media. Over time, this can help us break free from these addictive patterns.