In a series of six posts, I delve into teachings from early Buddhist scriptures to explain how we can break free from social media addiction. These insights come from the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which outlines five strategies to overcome persistent thoughts and urges.
Buddha’s advice is to use these tools in a specific order. If redirecting our mind to something positive doesn’t help, we then consider the drawbacks of our addiction. If that also fails, we move on to the next tool, which involves “ignoring and forgetting” our obsessions. This is the focus for today.
The discourse on this tool is brief: if bad, unskillful thoughts tied to desire, hate, and delusion keep surfacing, they should be ignored and forgotten. You might think this sounds easier said than done, and the given example isn’t much help either. It simply suggests that someone who sees an undesirable sight should close their eyes or look away.
While this might seem simplistic, it’s actually quite practical. It’s about reducing temptation. Let’s explore this in two main areas: external activity (changing our habits to physically avoid social media) and internal activity (how we relate to our experiences).
First, here’s some practical advice for managing your attention. If you’re trying to lose weight and have potato chips in the house, you’re likely to eat them. Similarly, having social media apps easily accessible on your phone makes it hard to resist them. Move these apps to a less accessible screen and turn off the red notification badges, which are designed to grab your attention. Turning off audible notifications also helps you control when you interact with these apps, putting some power back into your hands.
It’s also useful to keep your phone out of sight some of the time. For instance, don’t charge your phone next to your bed. This way, it won’t be the first thing you reach for in the morning. If you need an alarm, use an alarm clock instead.
At meals, put your phone on mute or out of sight. Some people even stack their phones in the middle of the table at restaurants, with the rule that whoever touches their phone first pays for everyone’s meal. Meditation retreats are also great for relearning happiness without being online. Some retreats require you to hand over your phone, which can be quite liberating.
Now let’s look at the internal aspect. There are two ways to pay attention with our eyes. The first way is focused, like a flashlight beam, which is how we usually see. This focuses on what seems vital but misses out on a lot. The second way is a soft, relaxed gaze, like a lamp illuminating a broader area. This mode of seeing can be very calming and opens up more of our visual and internal awareness.
When we meditate with a soft gaze, our attention is broader, and we become aware of more bodily sensations. This gives the mind more to engage with, reducing the chance of getting lost in thoughts. When thoughts do arise, they are just one part of a larger field of awareness and pass through without pulling us in.
This approach helps us ignore and forget compelling thoughts or urges. By maintaining a soft gaze, even during regular activities, it becomes easier to let go of sudden urges to check social media. This technique is similar to “urge surfing,” where we observe an urge building up, peak, and then dissipate, without acting on it.
In summary, we’ve learned that we can minimize distractions from social media by adjusting our physical habits and the way we use our attention. Simple changes in our environment and how we pay attention can create significant mental space, helping us to break free from addictive patterns of thought and behavior.