In a series of six posts, I explain using teachings from early Buddhist scriptures how we can free ourselves from addiction to social media. These teachings are found in the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, which outlines five strategies for overcoming compelling trains of thought and the urges that accompany them.
One important point is that the Buddha’s advice is to work through these tools in a specific order. If redirecting the mind to what’s positive doesn’t work, then try seeing the drawbacks of addiction. If that doesn’t work, move on to the next tool, which is to “ignore and forget” whatever it is you’re obsessed with. That’s the tool we’ll explore today.
The discourse is very brief regarding this tool. It simply says that if:
bad, unskillful thoughts connected with desire, hate, and delusion keep coming up, they should ignore and forget about them.
You might think, “easier said than done,” and the illustration of this principle isn’t very helpful! Imagine someone with good eyesight seeing undesirable sights. They would just close their eyes or look away. While this may sound simplistic, it’s actually practical and useful advice as it boils down to reducing temptation.
We’ll explore this in two areas. First, in the realm of external activity, we’ll see how changing our habits can help us ignore and look away from social media. Next, we’ll delve into how we relate to our inner experiences, which can have profound implications for our overall wellbeing.
Let’s start with some practical advice for managing your attention. For instance, if you want to lose weight but love potato chips, having them in your house makes it more likely you’ll overeat. Simply not seeing the foods you crave can help, illustrating the “out of sight, out of mind” concept. Similarly, in the supermarket, avoid the chip aisle by turning away.
Now think about our online addictions. Nowadays, our main access to these is through our smartphones, which we use for everything from watching TV to checking social media. Because we carry these devices everywhere, we are constantly tempted.
Try moving your social media apps to the second or third screen on your phone, so accessing them takes more effort. Turn off those little red notification badges and audible alerts, so the apps don’t interrupt you whenever they want your attention. This puts some control back in your hands, allowing you to focus better.
It’s also useful to keep your phone out of sight and out of mind at least some of the time. One of the best things you can do is not have your phone by your bedside at night. If that’s where you charge it, then your addiction will be the first thing you feed in the morning. Try charging your phone at the other end of the house.
If you say, “But I need my phone beside me at night to know what time it is,” remember the old technology called an “alarm clock.” You can still program it to wake you up, but you won’t be able to browse social media on it.
Charging your phone in another room prevents instant internet access when you wake up, giving you a chance to start your day free from addiction. How you start your day often impacts the rest of it. Additionally, turn your phone off when charging it overnight. The brief barrier of having to boot it up makes it easier to avoid addiction.
Leaving your phone in a different room might encourage you to meditate or read a book first thing in the morning instead of going online. This is a much healthier way to start the day, enhancing your ability to focus and develop concentration. Books, especially physical ones, train the mind in ways online content rarely does.
You can also create other opportunities for phone and internet-free time. At meals with family or friends, mute your phone or put it out of sight. Some even put their phones in a pile at a restaurant, and anyone who touches their phone has to pay for everyone’s meal. This idea can help foster genuine interaction.
Meditation retreats are another excellent opportunity to relearn that we don’t need to be online to be happy. Being offline and present in your experiences often makes you happier. On some retreats, you might have to hand in your phone. If not, leave it in your car or at the bottom of your suitcase, preferably in a sealed envelope for extra discouragement from using it. You could write an encouraging message on the envelope like “simplicity and presence.”
So these are simple, practical ways to “look away” from your phones or “close your eyes” to them, as advised in the Vitakkasanthana Sutta.
Now, let’s talk about what we can do internally to avoid getting caught up in addictive thoughts, like the sudden urge to check our phones. This might change the way you meditate.
There are two ways we can pay attention with our eyes. The first is being focused on a particular point in our visual field. This narrow beam of attention is like a flashlight and misses a lot.
The second way is to be aware of the whole visual field without moving your eyes around, just letting the muscles around them relax. This softer focus is like a lamp, less directional and more open.
Try this now — keep your gaze soft and be aware of everything in your visual field. You can’t read this way, but you can practice it while walking or conversing. This relaxed gaze helps the body and mind relax.
Interestingly, the way we use our eyes impacts our internal perception. When our gaze is tight, our inner focus is narrow, making us prone to distractions. But with a soft gaze, our attention is expansive and nourishes the mind. Thoughts can then pass through without capturing our attention.
This relates directly to ignoring and forgetting compelling thoughts. If we maintain an open gaze, we’re less likely to get caught up in thoughts or urges to go online. If we’re already engaged online and realize it’s not beneficial, a softer gaze can help us detach and step away from the screen.
This is similar to “urge surfing,” where we observe urges like waves that rise and fall. By simply observing the urge without acting on it, we can let it pass. This open gaze helps us avoid getting caught up in the urge to check social media, allowing us to refocus on our tasks.
Ultimately, ignoring and forgetting unskillful thoughts and urges can seem simplistic, but it’s actually quite profound. We can reduce our exposure to distractions, creating spaces free from addiction. By changing how we use our eyes, we can create mental space where thoughts arise and pass without gripping us, allowing us to let go of addictive patterns.
In summary, by strategically managing our external environment and internal focus, we can break free from social media addiction.