I want to highlight a common misunderstanding that many people have when discussing the Buddha’s teachings on suffering. According to the four noble truths, the first truth is that suffering (dukkha) is part of life. It’s described as follows:
“Suffering, as a noble truth, is this: Birth is suffering, aging is suffering, sickness is suffering, death is suffering, sorrow and lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are suffering; association with the disliked is suffering, separation from the loved is suffering, not getting what one wants is suffering—in short, suffering is the five categories of clinging objects.”
Here, the Buddha lists various instances of suffering that arise throughout life. Birth and death occur only a few times in one’s life, while sickness is more frequent. Separation from loved ones and dealing with disliked situations can occur multiple times a day.
The first example of suffering mentioned by the Buddha is birth. This is a logical place to start. However, many writers on Buddhism interpret “birth is suffering” as solely referring to the suffering of being born. This has been a long-standing tradition. About fifteen hundred years ago, Buddhaghosa, in his work “The Path of Purification,” outlined several ways that birth is painful, focusing wholly on the one being born.
But was your birth painful? Most of us can’t remember, as our brains were not developed enough to retain the details. However, our mothers likely experienced significant pain and psychological stress. Fathers, while not experiencing physical pain, might have been anxious about the health of both the mother and the newborn. This anxiety would extend to other family members as well, who were concerned and hopefully relieved upon the birth.
The Buddha himself was born at a time when childbirth was much more dangerous than it is in many parts of the world today. His own mother is reported to have died shortly after his birth, a fate still common in some regions today. Both of my adopted children’s birth mothers died in childbirth.
What I find bizarre in Buddhaghosa’s interpretation is his omission of the mother’s experience, especially regarding miscarriages. This myopia extends to many contemporary Buddhist teachers who follow Buddhaghosa’s lead without considering the mother’s suffering. His cultural bias, having been created in a male-dominated society, largely ignored women’s experiences.
This oversight leads to Buddhism being taught in the same narrow way from generation to generation. People often learn teachings like “birth is suffering” in a way that stops them from thinking critically about it or relating it to their own experiences. This lack of reflection is troubling, especially since empathy and compassion are central to the Buddhist path.
Buddhism’s teachings on suffering aim to cultivate a compassionate response. Yet, the suffering associated with childbirth, a significant part of “birth is suffering,” often gets overlooked. This narrow focus isn’t limited to birth; similar issues arise with interpretations of death and other forms of suffering.
As these misconceptions continue, they dilute the true impact of Buddhist teachings. If teachers and students fail to connect teachings to real-life experiences, the teachings become mere abstract concepts rather than practical wisdom.
The next time you hear “birth is suffering” discussed solely in terms of the baby’s pain, consider gently bringing up the mother’s suffering during childbirth. This could help reshape how Buddhism is understood and practiced in the West, making it more inclusive of all experiences.