The Delight in Embracing Absence

CalmMinds MeditationMindfulness

The Delight in Embracing Absence

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The Delight in Embracing Absence

I’m currently teaching an online course called “Calm In the Storm,” which focuses on finding peace during these turbulent times. Teaching this course has made me more aware of my relationship with the news, social media, and the technology delivering them. Surprisingly, changing how I interact with these elements has significantly improved my wellbeing over the last few weeks. I feel calmer, less anxious, more purposeful, and more accomplished.

Before diving into the changes I’ve made, it’s worth noting my unusual social media habits. I’ve already distanced myself from platforms like Facebook and Instagram due to privacy concerns and the unhealthy pursuit of likes. I only use Twitter heavily now, but these insights can apply to any social media platform.

I realized I was spending too much time on Twitter, and it didn’t benefit my emotional health. The platform’s short format frequently fuels outrage, arguments, and shallow discussions. I kept checking Twitter throughout the day, drawn by notifications and FOMO—the Fear of Missing Out—which caused anxiety.

My news consumption was similarly compulsive. I felt compelled to stay informed about crises in my native Britain and the US, but the constant exposure created a vicious cycle of anxiety and compulsion.

To regain control, I took several steps. First, I reduced my access to online news by switching off the custom news feed on my phone’s Chrome browser and deleting the Apple News app. I now glance at news headlines and only delve into stories that truly interest me, usually about science or psychology.

I also stopped using my phone as a bedside clock. Instead, I charge it in the living room and use my Apple Watch or a simple alarm clock to tell time. This change prevents me from being sucked into social media first thing in the morning.

On Twitter, I started following positive role models like Chelsea Clinton and Cory Booker, who handle criticism with kindness. I unfollowed or blocked negative, attacking accounts and chose to follow some people I disagree with to avoid living in an echo chamber.

To cut down on Twitter, I deleted the app from my phone and used my phone’s settings to block the site entirely. This created friction, making it easier to avoid. I also installed the Stayfocusd browser plugin, limiting my Twitter time to 20 minutes per day. This made me more selective about what I engage with on the platform.

Additionally, I turned off most notifications on my phone, keeping only essential ones. When I need to focus, I use the Do Not Disturb mode. This approach has led to a quieter, more productive life.

Despite some initial withdrawal symptoms, the benefits have been immense. I’m now calmer, happier, and more focused. I’ve started reading more and finished a novel recently—a satisfying accomplishment that reinforces my regained sense of control.

One course participant noted that being mindful of what enhances or detracts from their quality of life is empowering. These changes have had a more significant impact on my wellbeing than my daily meditation practice. My daily life now feels more like a refreshing meditation retreat. While I am missing out, it’s mostly on stress, anxiety, and overstimulation. This “missing out” feels wonderful, and I invite you to join me in embracing the Joy of Missing Out (JOMO).

One commenter shared how they also made similar changes and felt the benefits during a stressful period. Another highlighted how digital outrage is infectious and unhelpful. A business-focused reader mentioned how distraction impacts hospital environments and the potential of FOMO there.

Others expressed agreement and shared their thoughts on the importance of balancing staying informed with maintaining mental health. Some mentioned looking forward to future courses and emphasized the need for intentional awareness when using social media.

In summary, these adjustments helped regain control and brought peace and productivity back into my life. Whether it’s through similar steps or your own strategies, I encourage you to move from FOMO to JOMO.