This article comes from one of our emails in the online course “How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: Learning the Art of Self-Compassion.”
Self-compassion means treating ourselves with the same kindness, respect, and gentleness we would show to our loved ones. There are four key components of self-compassion:
1. Mindfulness: This is about observing our experiences instead of just living through them and getting caught up in them. It requires stepping back from our thoughts, feelings, and sensations, and viewing them as separate from who we are.
2. Equanimity: This involves accepting difficult experiences rather than denying, ignoring, or obsessing over them.
3. Self-Kindness: It’s about treating ourselves with gentleness, understanding, and compassion. This means acknowledging that we want happiness and well-being, which can only come when we are kind to ourselves.
4. Perspective on Suffering: This is recognizing that everyone struggles with the human condition. We all seek happiness and try to avoid suffering, but it continues to be a part of our lives. When we lack perspective, we may feel uniquely flawed and see our struggles as failures. With a wiser perspective, we don’t judge ourselves harshly and may even extend our compassion towards others.
These components work together to foster self-compassion. They are interconnected and often reflect each other. For instance, being mindful, accepting, and having perspective are all forms of self-kindness. When we are kind to ourselves, these qualities become evident in how we act.
Throughout the course, these four qualities will be integrated into the writings and guided meditations. At times, some may be emphasized more than others. Our first meditation, “kindfulness of breathing,” mainly focuses on mindfulness, equanimity, and kindness.
Thank you for reading.