The core teaching of Buddhism, without which the other teachings wouldn’t make sense, is that things change. While this idea might seem obvious, having been acknowledged by many philosophers and religious teachers over thousands of years, the Buddha didn’t just pay lip service to the concept of impermanence. He explored its implications as deeply as he could.
He observed that our resistance to change is the root of our suffering. He described this resistance as clinging—a desperate attempt to hold onto stability in a constantly changing world. Clinging often appears as expectation; we want things to happen in a certain way, and we suffer when they don’t. This can lead to immense suffering, such as unrequited love or depression when life doesn’t go as planned. Even smaller instances, like frustration with slow traffic or long checkout lines, are tied to our expectations.
One key takeaway from the concept of impermanence is that everything depends on other things that are also changing. For example, traffic flow depends on various factors like weather, road conditions, and the mental state of drivers. Life is complex and largely beyond our control.
One way to find happiness is by recognizing our expectations and letting them go. For instance, I used to get frustrated when my young kids took longer than expected to get ready. I would often get annoyed and sometimes yell. Now, I try to recognize when my expectations are causing me to suffer and let them go. By taking a deep breath and accepting that I can’t control everything, including my children, I feel more relaxed and at ease.
We can also let go of expectations about aging, illness, weather, and the permanence of our possessions. While the constant change can seem like a challenge to manage, it’s also a blessing. We have the capacity to change. Harmful habits that cause suffering can be unlearned, and we can adopt new, positive behaviors. We can grow to be wiser, kinder, and more patient. Nothing about us is so fixed that it can’t be transformed.
The Buddha emphasized that our minds can change in ways that lead to greater happiness and freedom. Without delving too deeply into specifics, he provided frameworks for progressively achieving mental states that lead to complete freedom from suffering, known as Awakening or nirvana.
When we resist change, it feels like a curse. When we accept it, it becomes a simple fact of life. When we embrace it, change becomes a blessing. Embracing change allows us to adapt and grow, rather than clinging to the familiar. Expectation can be a curse in itself, but change offers us tremendous opportunities.
Change is the essential rhythm of life in Buddhism. When we engage with it joyfully, the path becomes the result. Clinging to specific outcomes leads to imbalance, confusion, and suffering.
I’ve experienced this personally. Struggling with an anxiety disorder, even the smallest changes in routine can be challenging. I used to get very attached to habits, which caused a lot of suffering. Learning to let go is key to recovery.
Change encompasses loss, but it also includes gain, growth, and awakening. It’s easy to focus on what we lose because our brains are wired to fear change. However, focusing on the positive aspects of change can help us lead happier lives.